tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-90794710993222983632024-03-14T07:51:29.217-07:00Letha's Happy Hospital Funtime Blog!This Happy Funtime Place is for all my friends that want to be updated about my progress, without having to be subjected to my cancer while innocently catching up with friends on Facebook.<br><br>I want to thank Scott at SS Records for putting up the <a href="http://melchiorfund.blogspot.com/">Letha Rodman Melchior Fund </a> donation page for me.
Thanks to Tom Lax, Brian Turner, and DJ Rick for stetting up benefit shows. Thank you to all that have been so generous to me.Letha Rodman Melchior Soon To Be Cancer Freehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13162208409275940807noreply@blogger.comBlogger64125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9079471099322298363.post-12871638700498176792014-09-24T21:05:00.002-07:002014-09-24T21:05:40.795-07:00Letha Rodman Melchior - 1959-2014I am heartbroken to report that my dear, sweet wife Letha Rodman Melchior passed away today. She fought right up until the end. She was the bravest, most alive person I ever knew. I love you Leth.<br />
Dan Melchior Rodman.Letha Rodman Melchior Soon To Be Cancer Freehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13162208409275940807noreply@blogger.com36tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9079471099322298363.post-71951827686148420322014-07-30T12:21:00.003-07:002014-07-30T12:21:34.405-07:00Giveforward!Hello everyone - - I'm sorry it's been so long since I posted, but I've had a lot of daunting stuff going on. I will get back to it soon!<br />
In the meantime, I just wanted to let you know that the wonderful China Bialos has opened a GiveForward page on behalf of Dan and I - - -thanks so much China!<br />
<a href="https://www.giveforward.com/fundraiser/qny4/help-letha-rodman-melchior-conquer-cancer-" target="_blank">https://www.giveforward.com/fundraiser/qny4/help-letha-rodman-melchior-conquer-cancer-</a><br />
Love, Letha.Letha Rodman Melchior Soon To Be Cancer Freehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13162208409275940807noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9079471099322298363.post-86568271797965649482014-06-06T09:23:00.002-07:002014-06-06T09:25:46.330-07:00Frankenstein Times<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Today I go in for my Brain MRI - I'm super scared because I won't get results until next Tuesday. Tuesday is a day filled with Brain Results, Full Body PET, and a talk with my oncologist.<br />
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These will be the first scans since I've started taking my new drugs. Are they working? Are they not? It's hard being in limbo.<br />
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Just wish me luck. Fingers crossed. I'm taking all good vibes given out.</div>
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Thank you all!</div>
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<br />Letha Rodman Melchior Soon To Be Cancer Freehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13162208409275940807noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9079471099322298363.post-64126465748344294492014-05-31T23:07:00.000-07:002014-06-03T15:02:51.439-07:00EMPTY NEST<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Pale, is the new alive! Pale is the new Tan!</div>
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Really!?? Does that look good? What's the girl in the top photo? A Tootsie Roll or has she been carved out of a turd?<br />
"Oooh, look at my beautiful brown/red/body/boob! I just got back from the isle of Belize"<br />
The girls above aren't far from the Yamanba Girls below.<br />
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<i><b><u>If you're looking for Dad - He's inside the computer, Mom!</u></b></i><br />
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It's interesting how there is a lingering emptiness when someone you love goes away. Even if it's just a few days. The routine is all broken up and the floorboards are much creaker and the whole house is darker. And there's no way to completely rid yourself of that slim thought of a break-in or that low dark thought while sleeping, of opening your eyes to see a stranger standing over you with a sledge hammer. I'm getting dark here...Ha! I think Dan and I've been watching too many Dateline Mystery's and way too many 48 Hours. I'm not really scared; but you know what I mean.<br />
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Oh my friends; I feel ashamed of how long its taken me me to write a new entry on my blog. I haven't been too busy. I just haven't felt up to it. Really it's been since December since I've written properly.<br />
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I've had some close calls in the early part of the year - that whole dehydration 7 day stay in the hospital. And later my intimate meeting with the floor; where my front teeth explored the outside world by busting through my upper lip. I've been up and down on motivation. I'm a wild meter needle about feeling good or not feeling good. I do get tired of never feeling "Just Grrreat!" Seems there is always some ache or some pain. It's just tiring!<br />
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I have to go way back to December, to the time my friends Suki Hawley, Michael Galinsky, Ron Liberti, and Madea had put together a gallery opening of my never seen collages. It was wonderful! I met some new people and had success in selling some of my collages, and that made me very happy. It's nice to be appreciated and to have your work seen and to have people take notice. What also makes me happy is great friends! Friends that have helped me so much by being there for me. Thank you!<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Opening night.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-DY_X27ES3Jk/U4oZM00WskI/AAAAAAAABqo/ZtJm8OCmGF8/s1600/steph.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-DY_X27ES3Jk/U4oZM00WskI/AAAAAAAABqo/ZtJm8OCmGF8/s1600/steph.jpg" height="240" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My sister Stephanie was visiting from Houston - That made me very happy too!<br />
Please come back!</td></tr>
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I have these collage books that are made from magazines. I think it would be so cool to have <u>real</u> books made from them. Does anyone know how I get them published?<br />
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<a href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/tigergod-ink/sets/72157626424349252/" target="_blank">Book Of London</a></div>
When I'd travel I'd pick up a magazine and with my glue, tape, and scissors ready; I'd collect things from that trip and while in bars, train stations, train cars and such, and I'd put together these books. As a whole they are pretty stunning. Check out the link above.<br />
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Then on January 18th my band-mates from Ruby Falls, Laura and Jennifer Rogers, along with Rebecca Gaffney put on a huge benefit for my ever dwindling cancer fund. And all of these great people played:<br />
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Thank you so much for that. The first of the year is so hard, thank you all for making it much easier. </div>
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So for current cancer news, the drug Zelboraf that I had been taking for the last year or so has stopped working. So now I'm on a combo of Mekanist (I had gone to NY to try to get on the clinical trial in 2012 - it's now FDA approved) and Dabrafenib. I've been on this combo since the end of February, and I'll be getting my first Brain MRI and Full Body PET in the next week on June 10th. I might have some answers then. I can't tell if the combo is working or not. I certainly look and feel better (if I take all my meds correctly), but I still have lumps in places. I can feel them. Are they cancer, or just wacked out benign lumps? I have a lot of those too. What is what? I also have been having a lot of melanoma sliced out of my head, and lower back. And the large lump in my leg is a smaller lump - but it's still a lump. Could it just be scar tissue from the radiation? What also worries me is I'm growing hair again - If the drugs are working, shouldn't I be bald? I was getting used to that. Now I'm going to have to worry about hairstyles and hair color again. At least I have eyebrows! My very own personalized eyebrow shape, the one I grew up with, and they feel so good! I have lashes too! </div>
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I'm very nervous, mostly about brain tumors. These nuggets are strangling my thought process. It's either the tumors or the drugs that are making me verbally dyslexic. The other day I said to Dan, " The clean is car." Poor Dan, I'm in a constant fog and never know what's going on. I have extremely short term memory. It's like "Hush Hush Sweet Charlotte" over here. I do things that I'm not aware of; and remember things that haven't happened. Christ! It's really scary. If something is lost the first place to look now is in the refrigerator, the car keys just might be in with the grapes in the crisper.<br />
So, I'm told that if I have one or more new brain tumors, I'm going to have whole brain radiation. What will that turn me into? I'm afraid, very afraid.</div>
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The thing is, that I feel myself slip away every day. Little incidences are becoming bigger incidences. I feel foolish when I get caught up in a false memory. I suppose the sad thing is; is that I can't trust myself 100%. If someone told me I did something wrong I would now tend to believe them, instead of standing my ground 100%. My short term memory is impossible to deal with. The assistant to my brain surgeon gives me these test, they're like alzheimer's test. "Remember these three words, House, Church, and Bird." then at the end of the test, I'm asked to recall the words. I would likely recall "Foot, Chase, Cheese." I don't think I could recall much correctly now. Well, you wouldn't know it, but it has taken me some time to write this. I had to read and re-read this many many time. It's been more than riddled with mistakes. I hope I corrected them all. I usually have Dan proofread it because of the wild mistakes I make. I'm just a drooling brain blob without Dan around.</div>
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It was really fun watching Dan, Brad, Greg and Tony playing on the computer. For the WFMU record fair. It was so good! I'd love to see the footage again. The WFMU Record Fair is on today, Sunday June 1st too. Get the info here: <a href="http://www.wfmu.org/recfair/">WMFU Record Fair</a><br />
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I think that catches us up for now. I'll do better in the future. I haven't done it yet - but I'm going to do my fohawk up in old lady silver this week end. I'll post photos soon.<br />
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Love to everyone!</div>
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Letha Rodman Melchior Soon To Be Cancer Freehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13162208409275940807noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9079471099322298363.post-2230351364669046642014-03-04T13:11:00.003-08:002014-03-08T15:16:32.559-08:00It's Time To Think Of Others<br />
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This is the time to think about others. I would love for people to sign my petition to<br />
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<a href="http://wh.gov/lE63F" target="_blank">have all US hospital Food Services to be required to serve healthy nutritional food to patients receiving care.</a></h1>
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This is such an important matter! Very sick people are given substandard food. This keeps them sick. Without nutritional food it is very difficult to get better. This problem is nationwide, and though changes are slowly being made in some hospitals, health, nutrition food should be a standard of basic care in every hospital. </div>
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Please sign my <a href="http://tinyurl.com/kg5qvsu" target="_blank">petition</a>. It really matters. You don't even have to join anything - just go to the link and add your signature - you could also say why you think this petition is important. Please, you can make a difference in what sick people are given as food!<br />
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Why should anyone have to eat this!???</div>
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<a href="http://tinyurl.com/kg5qvsu" target="_blank">Sign my petition for nutritious hospital food!</a></div>
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Letha Rodman Melchior Soon To Be Cancer Freehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13162208409275940807noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9079471099322298363.post-48456077658174622692014-02-26T14:37:00.003-08:002014-02-26T15:32:45.726-08:00Letter To Chef Gordon Ramsay<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">During my stay in the hospital, I was quite traumatized by the food. It was so, so bad. I imagine it's much worse than prison food. Duke Food Services heard of my complaints and sent three different people on their staff to talk to me, as I laid in my hospital bed. When talking with them, I told them I would get Chef Gordon Ramsay on the case; He could change the system where they couldn't. They laughed. But they don't know me. When I have an idea I'm a lock-jawed terrier that won't let go of a chew-toy! I become so obsessed, I won't stop trying until I've exhausted every nook and cranny, every alley that I can think of, that will lead me to success in obtaining what I want.<br /><br />Dan and I are fans of Kitchen Nightmares, Masterchef, and Hell's Kitchen; so we know very well what the production company is called. At the end of each episode, I'm assuming it's Ramsay's young child, who says "One Potato, Two Potato!" Dan and I can't help cringing, and then repeat it over and over, to irritate each other.</span><br />
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-acqLQTPJuCo/Uw5GvD4wrjI/AAAAAAAABoI/pxVnPi68_4g/s1600/Screen+Shot+2014-02-26+at+2.15.45+PM.png"><img border="0" height="98" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-acqLQTPJuCo/Uw5GvD4wrjI/AAAAAAAABoI/pxVnPi68_4g/s1600/Screen+Shot+2014-02-26+at+2.15.45+PM.png" width="640" /></a><br />
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So I immediately looked up 'One Potato, Two Potato' only to find that it's quite impossible to contact anyone on the staff directly. Aside from that, I really wanted Ramsay himself to read my letter. So, I thought of other ways to get my message to him. Facebook! I wrote a private message to whoever handles Gordon Ramsay's Facebook Page. I pleaded with them to forward my message to Ramsay himself. I got no response from this attempt.<br />
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Next I thought if I applied for a job at Ramsay's restaurant in NY on 151 W 54th st, I could attach my letter as the CV on the application. I filled out the application using all open fields to get my message forwarded to Chef Gordon Ramsay. I don't know if a human actually looked through the submissions - but it seems unlikely.<br />
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And this:<br />
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No one read my CV it seems.<br />
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So, after a day or two I got an email saying I wasn't right for the job.<br />
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-fCtERY0iM4k/Uw5G7pZ7ozI/AAAAAAAABoQ/YWKUJDydtBI/s1600/Screen+Shot+2014-02-26+at+2.54.26+PM.png"><img border="0" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-fCtERY0iM4k/Uw5G7pZ7ozI/AAAAAAAABoQ/YWKUJDydtBI/s1600/Screen+Shot+2014-02-26+at+2.54.26+PM.png" /></a><br />
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I thought of doing an open letter on facebook in hopes it would somehow be brought to his attention. Then I noticed a casting call for a health show that Optomen Productions was set to do in the future. I thought this is the only way I can be sure that someone will really read what I have to say. So I emailed the casting department at Optomen. This is the letter I wrote:<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">________________________________</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Dear Optomen Casting,<br /><br />My name is Letha Rodman Melchior, I’m very very ill. I have both breast cancer, and melanoma stage IV, which of course, is the worst of the two. I've just been released from Duke University Hospital where I've endured a 7 day stay. While there, I thought that I would present Optomen Productions and Chef Gordon Ramsay with a challenge. A challenge which could be quite impossible, but if anyone could be successful it would be Optomen Productions and Chef Ramsay. I would like for your team to take on Duke University Hospital’s food system and reconstruct it into something that's nutritional and something that the hospital can be proud of. Duke University Hospital is one of the top 10 rated Hospitals in the USA; why it lacks in nutritional food is beyond me. I know Food Services is a problem in a lot of hospitals worldwide; I also know that now is the time to meet with Food Services at Duke University Hospital, because they are going to try improving their system in May 2014. I don't have much faith that they'll get it right. The 'Triangle Area' in North Carolina has an abundance of local farms and resources to pull from. Please think about coming to Duke University Hospital and help them make the right choice. <br /><br />As it stands now all hospital meals for patients at Duke are contracted out to a company called Aramark. I can not tell you how bad that food is. I know there are many hospital food jokes out in the world - but this is not a joke. As I laid in bed for 7 days the food was inedible. I tried to think of things that they couldn't get wrong; like macaroni and cheese. It was if someone had regurgitated on to a plate. One piece of breaded fish; it came as paper-thin deep-fried bit of rubber blackened on all sides, so hard that it couldn't be chewed. There was only one bite in that, that was edible. A bagel, that if thrown up against the wall would shatter into a million slivers. I actually lost over 10 pounds by being given inedible food. <br /><br />A friend of mine happen to bring me some food from Whole Foods, with a bowl of fresh fruit to start. One bite of a beautiful strawberry and I was sent to heaven! I couldn't believe how my body responded, I could feel it helping me get better - out of one bite!! I realized there were other people who may have been sicker than I was, who are depending on nutrition to help them get better. Not anything fancy, just basic nutrition!<br /><br />The Duke Nutritionist came by and I had to ask her why the hospital food had no nutritional value. She said that the food was contracted out by Aramark and the food was cooked off site; flash frozen, then sorted at the hospital, reconstituted and reheated, then sent on rounds to the rooms. By this time, the food ceased to be food. I would hardly call it stomach filler. Truly most people wouldn't feed this food to their dog. I couldn't understand why a hospital would contract food out unless the food was nutritional. The woman said that most cancer patients can't taste their food and complain anyway. She said they couldn't make everyone happy.<br /><br />Cancer patients NEED nutrition to stay well! I got very mad. I said I would get Chef Gordon Ramsay to come to Duke and get things changed! So I'm pleading with you to come to Duke University Hospital in Durham, NC and take over. Make this very great hospital and cancer clinic better by bringing basic nutrition into the program. I know it would save lives. Truly. I didn't start to get better until I had my friends bring me real food and real fruit.<br /><br />The Duke Food Services sent about 3 other people around to take my complaint. I’m not the complaining type - but I do want to stand up for myself and others to get basic needs. Nutritional food in a hospital is a high priority for me.<br /><br />Please consider this. Whoever reads this, please present this to Chef Gordon Ramsay, or Stephanie Angelides or one of One Potato Two Potato development, or one of the Optomen production staff.<br /><br />Please, I beg of you, it is wrong for sick people to be given un-nutritional food. <br /><br />I can get contact names and numbers for you and I know that Duke Hospital is going to try to ‘tweak’ the food system in May, 2014.<br /><br />I can go into more detail if needed. Please help. <br /><br />Thank you! <br />Letha Rodman Melchior cancer warrior!</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #b6d7a8;">___________________________________</span>____<br />
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This was the reply I got:<br />
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-F9jc6DAVuzE/Uw5NNI5H4WI/AAAAAAAABow/nzZfzthcriY/s1600/Screen+Shot+2014-02-26+at+3.22.38+PM.png"><img border="0" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-F9jc6DAVuzE/Uw5NNI5H4WI/AAAAAAAABow/nzZfzthcriY/s1600/Screen+Shot+2014-02-26+at+3.22.38+PM.png" /></a><br />
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I don't know if they really did forward my letter. I'd like to think that they did. I'm still thinking of the open letter on Facebook. Wouldn't it be great if Gordon Ramsay did come to Duke University Hospital and change things? I don't know how long, or what it's going to take to have better food worldwide in hospitals, and schools.<br />
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It's appalling that these big companies are doling out substandard food. Lord knows what deals are made with suppliers to Aramark. And what kickbacks and deals Aramark and other companies like it are making with the US hospitals.<br />
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I was sent some great links and found a few others online. It's going to be so hard to change things.<br />
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<a href="http://www.healthyfoodinhealthcare.org/pledge.php" target="_blank">http://www.healthyfoodinhealthcare.org/pledge.php</a><br />
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<a href="http://www.organicconsumers.org/articles/article_10136.cfm">http://www.organicconsumers.org/articles/article_10136.cfm</a><br />
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<a href="http://freshadvantage.com/tag/healthy-hospital-food-2/">http://freshadvantage.com/tag/healthy-hospital-food-2/</a><br />
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<a href="http://www.psr.org/environment-and-health/environmental-health-policy-institute/responses/food-matters-in-hospitals-and-for-prenatal-health.html">http://www.psr.org/environment-and-health/environmental-health-policy-institute/responses/food-matters-in-hospitals-and-for-prenatal-health.html</a><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><br />If anyone knows how to get this letter to Chef Gordon Ramsay, Please let me know.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: normal;">Thanks!</span></span></h2>
Love,<br />
Letha
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You know when you see really old people dragging those oxygen tanks around? You're bound to think to yourself, "You silly smoker, look at you now! Why didn't you quit?"<br />
As a smoker myself, who quit, I'd be so embarrassed if I had to wear oxygen all the time. I'm so glad I stopped when I did, and I'm glad the hospital didn't send me home with oxygen like they threatened to.<br />
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In room 9315, at Duke University Hospital I was once again labeled a fall risk. That meant if I ever got out of bed, I would need a nurse to stand watch, just to make sure I didn't break my neck. They weighed me while I laid in bed. A button was pushed, an alarm was set, and the whole bed was turned into a giant scale. Anytime there was a change in weight a high pitched beep would go off. This way they'd know if I'd escaped to take a piss.<br />
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I have to say that it was the most uncomfortable bed I have ever laid on! It was designed especially for people that couldn't move. It would automatically adjust to take pressure off of the places on the body where people get bed sores. It drove me crazy the whole time I was there. The bed could be puffed up to 'maximum inflate', but it was designed not to hold it. After 20 minutes the bed would swallow me up, trapping me into one position, though my legs and feet felt like they were floating where the bed had puffed out like a balloon. It made it impossible to get any leverage to move properly. To make matters worse the controls to this part of the bed were completely out of reach for me. I had to beg nurses to press the key button, then hit the inflate button. Most of the nurses didn't want to bother, because they knew the inflate wouldn't hold, or it was just one more thing for them to do. Truly the bed was a form of torture. It felt worse than a half filled waterbed, or a half deflated plastic pool mattress.<br />
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<img border="0" height="315" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Ao_tKF0Zv2g/Uwj4O2_HzcI/AAAAAAAABmM/bCHMe7PtmyQ/s1600/sunk+in.jpg" width="320" /></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Remember These??</td></tr>
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In the first day and a half I didn't have the energy to even think about getting up. I hardly moved at all, and it was my first experience in using a bedpan! Horrible! This may be thought of as crass potty-talk, but using a bedpan is humiliating. It feels so wrong - I can't tell you. Only people who have used them know the shame, the disconnect of the mind and the bowel movement, and the embarrassment of having onlookers hovering over you during what should be a very private time. I'm going to go out on a limb and say that for most people, consciously or unconsciously, there is an instilled ending in the whole restroom/bathroom procedure; the sound of the water interacting with the number one, or number two, whichever way it happens; and the action of the flush, with a possible glance to make sure it all goes down. And the grand ending with the sound of water rushing down the sink drain during a brisk washing of the hands. I couldn't make it to the sink, so I was given a can of Steris Foam Sanitizer, as if that would be enough! It was all so wrong! It's disconcerting when you don't experience those familiar bathroom sounds. It's haunting!<br />
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I had thought that I would've been home by Wednesday, but no. Somehow I wasn't getting better. I still had fluctuating fever, low oxygen and now there was a rasp in my lungs. They arranged for a bedside chest x-ray. It showed that there was fluid on my lungs. When the doctors made their floor rounds, they told me that the fluid was either from an infection that I came in with, or when I was in the ER they had topped me off with too much fluid. It had nowhere to go but in my lungs. They said it could also be a possible Pulmonary Embolism. That's a clot or blockage that doesn't allow proper breathing. And it can be lethal. Was this the beginning of pneumonia? In the last few years there have been people I've known of, who either died or remained hospitalized for months by having Pneumonia! How did my illness get to this point?<br />
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I don't really remember too much of those days in the hospital. Though somethings stand out. Like the first breakfast I was brought. Scrambled eggs (cold), toast and an unripe banana! Sometime in 2010 when I first entered the Duke Cancer Hospital and Clinic System, I was asked if I had any allergies. For some stupid reason I wracked my brain for things I was supposedly allergic to. Most of these allergies were self diagnosed. Now every time I check in at the clinic, I have to go over these three things. Dan and I just roll our eyes, because I never ever should have said Green Banana, Monosodium Glutamate, and Lidocaine. It's true about the Lidocaine, but the banana and the glutamate, I was just reaching out for something to put down. My cancer counselor had come to visit me that Wednesday morning and even she noticed the Green Banana on my breakfast plate. We both looked on in disbelief and laughed. That banana could have killed me if my allergy were true and I was delirious enough to think a banana was safe to eat. What were the food service people thinking? It was even listed on my menu slip that I had three killer allergens.<br />
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The days went on and on. I had graduated from bedpan to bedside commode. I still had to be watched, and had to wait for what seemed like ages for someone to arrive after I pushed the nurses call button. Before my feet touched the floor the nurse had to put on my grip socks for me because I couldn't sit up to reach my feet. It was all so tiring. It's really hard relying on other people especially for the most basic things. It wasn't until a week after I was released that I realized I could have used some slippers. That would have made the bathroom trips so much easier! I bought a pair for next time I'm admitted.<br />
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I was named 'Pretty Toes' by the beautiful, and very sweet Lorna who cleaned the rooms every day. I can't express how much a smiling face with a bright and cheery attitude helps when you're chained to a bed, and at the mercy of the people working the floor. Thank you Lorna for being who you are, and spreading your warmth to all the people that need it.<br />
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I did have pretty toes, too! I had my first manicure in years just a week or two prior to my hospitalization.<br />
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One day the doctors came in to tell me that they wanted to do a Bronchoscopy. This is a procedure where a camera is threaded through your nostril until it reaches your lung. So they cart me, bed and all down to the basement. I talked to the nurses down there and told them that I didn't do well with Lidocaine, that it was pretty much ineffective. If they were going to use it to numb my throat, it may be hard going. This I knew already from an endoscopy I had done last year. Interestingly, they took no notice of what I said, and with what looked like a caulking gun, a nurse began making a thick swirl down my throat like she was doing some 'Good Housekeeping' cake decorating. She was smiling as she did it, and I about choked! I forgot to say that I was strapped into a gurney chair that could've been one taken from Guantanamo Bay.<br />
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-bX4m35n2OoA/Uwfo_NwndRI/AAAAAAAABlw/NsUMmKQbz9I/s1600/gurney+chair.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-bX4m35n2OoA/Uwfo_NwndRI/AAAAAAAABlw/NsUMmKQbz9I/s1600/gurney+chair.jpg" /></a><br />
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I gagged, coughed, spat and my watering eyes clamped shut. I said 'is this some kind of torture?' I asked why they didn't put me under before doing that. That's when they told me they were going to do "Twilight". I pleaded with them to put me somewhere between "Twilight and Midnight!" I told the doctors who were doing the procedure that if they didn't put me under deep enough that I might possibly fight back. They chuckled. I don't remember too much, thank god - but they had put a wet washcloth on my forehead; it kept slipping toward my traumatized nostril. I opened my eyes and saw my arm being swatted down by a nurse every time I tried to pull the dangling washcloth off my head. It was like a sissy cat fight, every time she swatted, I swatted right back. I was trying to talk and explain what I was doing. I just wanted the washcloth off my face. I couldn't speak through the apparatus in my mouth - it was way worse than trying to talk at the dentist. They kept telling me not to talk. After it was over, I think I might have said, "I told you so! I told you I'm a fighter!" to the doctors in defiance - but that may have just been a 'Twilight' hallucination.<br />
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Eventually I got put on a long leash of oxygen tubing in my room which allowed me to get up to go to the real bathroom. I had to make sure I didn't pull the IV from my arm, and all the tubing, plugs, and machines had to be pulled around in just the right way. It was a lot of work for someone that was still shaky on their feet.<br />
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At first I didn't really want visitors, even Dan, because I was either sleeping or having some test or having blood withdrawn. I didn't even watch TV. I slept. It was the day after being admitted that Dan came to visit the first time, he walked all the way from home to the hospital to bring me a real hamburger! I felt bad for Dan because after I ate it, I wasn't good company. Then poor Dan had to walk all the way home before it got dark. I think that's the day he caught the terrible cold that really knocked him down for over a week!<br />
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I can't remember what day it was when Dan and Suki came to visit together. Maybe it was the third day. They both had to wear face masks while in the room. All doctors, nurses and hospital staff had to wear yellow gowns and face masks when in the room too. It was written on my closed door that I was contagious. After a few days they took the sign down.<br />
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While Suki and Dan were there that day, the Duke Hospital nutritionist came by for a visit. She asked how everything was, and I had to ask her why the hospital food was so bad and un-nutritious? All food was overcooked and over seasoned, the salads (mostly iceberg lettuce) were brown around the edges, and all fruit was jellied, or covered with sugar laden fruit flavored syrup. Dan had brought me a real salad from one of the cafeterias designed for visitors and hospital staff. That food wasn't that bad. The food served to patients was really, really bad. WHY?<br />
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The nutritionist said that it was hard to please everyone. And that cancer patients sense of taste is messed up so they don't like anything. I got mad! I thought 'so what!' I know, I've had certain times where my taste buds were all mixed up. But I and every other sick person out there needs nutritious food!<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">What you see on this menu is far from what you get. Think of dumpster diving...the images of food you'd come up with would be more accurate than what's depicted here. </td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Though some of these things sound appetizing - I assure you none of it is! </td></tr>
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I became a crusader for better food, especially after my friend Melissa brought me homemade Pho soup and squash,and the best of all, fresh fruit!!! I ate a strawberry and my body woke up screaming for nutrition. I immediately felt better than I had in all the previous days. Thank god for friends! Thanks Melissa! I had Suki bring me food too! Real food! It was marvelous! Thank you Suki! Eating real food brought me back to life and started me on the path to recovery.<br />
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After I told the food services lady not to bring me any more trays, I had visits from three other people on the food board at Duke. They said they had been told I had a problem with the food. One woman actually sat down and wrote down my complaint. I told them it was wrong to serve people the food they were serving. It was keeping people sick. I told them I was going to sic Chef Gordon Ramsay on the Duke Food Services. I can't understand why food can't be prepared on the premises - or at least close by - and why the food can't be healthy.<br />
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So, I did, I did contact Chef Gordon Ramsay's production team with this challenge. Change Duke Hospitals Food Services into something healthy. I'll post the letter I sent out to Chef Gordon Ramsay as well as the response I recieved in my next post.<br />
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If anyone out there knows Gordon Ramsay personally, please contact me.</div>
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To bring this long post to an end, I want to give my thanks to some outstanding people that took care of me. I had a great nurse named Cary, like the town between Durham and Raleigh. She really cared about what she was doing. She was so attentive, sensitive and just great at thinking ahead. She was my favorite. There was Grace, Susan, Nicole, Lila (who was sweet and had amazing stories) and Julie. Thank you all for taking care of me.<br />
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Thanks to my doctors, Dr. Reidel, who I've deemed my favorite, in place of Dr Scott Pruitt (who I miss terribly); and Doctor Verma who was very thorough in trying to find out what was wrong with me. In conclusion, the source of my illness was never found. Since I was released from the hospital on February 11th, I've been getting stronger every day.<br />
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Thanks to my sweet husband who keeps me going. Seems whenever he's not around, I get into some kind of trouble. If it weren't for him coming home when he did I really could of been a goner. And Suki, thanks for bringing and watching 'Totoro'. It was very special for you to share that with me. Melissa thanks for the yummy healthy food and the great company. And lastly, thank you Shawn for making that trip before the snowstorm to bring me and Dan healthy good food that lasted us through the week of the storm. I love you all dearly!<br />
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One more thing...Starting Tuesday is WFMU's 2014 Fundraising Marathon! Be sure to help our world favorite freeform radio station stay alive! There will be all kinds of prizes and exciting music to hear. <a href="https://www.wfmu.org/marathon/pledge.php" target="_blank">If you want to pledge or donate early to </a><a href="https://www.wfmu.org/marathon/pledge.php" target="_blank">WFMU</a> <a href="https://www.wfmu.org/marathon/pledge.php" target="_blank">go here</a>.<br />
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I'll have more updates coming soon, including my collage art show that Michael Galinsky and Suki Hawley put together for me. And the amazing benefit that Rebecca Gaffney, Jen Rogers Anderson, and Laura Rogers put together for me. Also I had some great reviews of my record Handbook For Mortals. I'm excited to write about all these great things. So look out for more to come...<br />
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This particular post isn't for the faint of heart. So reader beware! So much has happened in the last two months, it's become a blur! I think I'll have to break up all the happenings into chunk events, and in no particular order. I'll start with the most current event that sent me into the hospital for 7 days.<br />
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Thursday, January 30th, Morning:<br />
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We got up early to get Dan packed up and off to the airport. He was playing a show in Philly over that weekend, as well as doing a radio show. It wasn't even really 5 days that he'd be gone; he was due back Monday.<br />
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Once we got his things packed in the car, we stopped off at Biscuitville so I could get a cuppa Joe with a sausage/cheese biscuit. I ate and drove at the same time. The airport isn't far and the drive can be done in about 35 minutes. We'd done this a million times. I'm always happy for Dan to escape the drudge of being home taking care of me. He does such a great job - it's a bit unfair. I always wish him the best time he can possibly have on his trips; and I know it's hard for him because he worries about me all the time while he's away.<br />
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I knew how quiet it would be without him around, it made me a bit melancholy. I thought, me and the Beak would spend quality time together. I'd get to know his feminine side. (We found out that Glen is a true Hermaphrodite - he has one testical and one ovary; and has layed 3 eggs!) We could watch our movies on the computer and try to learn some new phrases. Like, "I'm a vulture!" It would be fun.<br />
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About halfway through my drive home, I felt hot, sweaty and chilled - Oh! Christ! Some sickness was wrapping it's boney finger around me, and fast! I hadn't been anywhere outside my house for days - so it must have been squirming germs on my sausage and cheese biscuit! Was it intentional? Did someone hawk up something onto my biscuit bun? No - That would be a bit over the top. Someone likely came to work sick, because they can't afford to take any time off, so a sneeze, a cough, "poof," a light coating of germs on my breakfast bag! I was done for! God knows how many germs were spread, and to how many people that day, via Biscuitville.<br />
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As soon as I got home I fixed dinner for Glen, and myself. Dan and I were trying to change Glen's eating habits. He's such a picky, junk food junkie. He slightly pecked at his new bird food, and mainly ate the pasta I was eating. We watched TV. I was feeling so tired. I kept nodding out, it was no use trying to stay awake. I decided to go ahead and sleep the sickness off. I was sure I'd feel better in the morning. I did feel better! That afternoon, I went to get soup and veggies at the local chinese restaurant down the road, just to make sure I was eating and staying hydrated (It's so hard to make yourself eat and drink properly when you feel lousy) I had such horrible sinus congestion - I had a pretty nice layer of kleenex going on the floor where I had missed the trash bag. I was amazed how much stuff came out of my nose! It was unlike anything I'd ever seen before. This stuff looked like it had been up there collecting dust (and gunk) since I had my pituitary surgery in November 2011. Overwhelming chunks of what looked like sinus lining mixed with old rubber cement mucus and blood - It just kept coming! I looked it up on Google, and it looked very close to Rhinoliths which are a rocks, or solidification of mucus and nasal debris. Yuck!!<br />
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I settled down to watch one of mine and Dan's favorite TV shows, Monk, (on Friday's at 8:00 - 2 episodes back to back). It was going to be a cozy evening, just Glen and me. I flipped around to channel 28, and that's when I realized something was wrong. I checked the online TV guide, and "what the what's?" I lost a day! I lost a whole day! It was Saturday, and Monk, was not on!!! What happend to Friday? I don't remember having conversations, or being on the computer or any of it! I do remember hazy moments of trying to talk to Dan and Suki - but my throat was so dry and scratchy I wasn't good at keeping my end of the conversation up. And I can't be sure which day that was. It was quickly turning into The Lost Weekend - but with no drinking! I did notice that Glen was still out of his cage, and now had 'no prob-lem-o' eating his new food. He must have caved in on that lost Friday, it was the only food left out for him...<br />
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I took my temperature and it was 100.1 (Not too high I thought) I took an extra prednisone and went back to laying down. I thought for sure I'd feel better Sunday. I don't remember Sunday much either. I tried to do the dishes and some straightening of the house. I was so weak. I had bouts of diarrhea that whole week (unfortunately it's a typical side effect of the cancer drug Zelboraf), with Imodium it's usually manageable - not this time. I didn't even realize I was hitting the bathroom hard - because it had become so routine for me. Take 4 giant Zelboraf pills and you're off, unless you take an Imodium in the nick of time. Then it's another 4 before bed. 8 each day! Imodiummmmm!!!!! Them Z's there, ain't no piddly small pills neither! </div>
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I was drinking water by the gallons. I went to sleep after putting Glen to bed, knowing Dan would be back the next day and everything would be better.<br />
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When Dan called to say what time he'd be back, I asked him if he wouldn't mind taking a cab home; I didn't think I could drive. I was so glad I was getting Dan back. He arrived. I could hear him in the house, he open the bedroom door, and I really wanted to run into his arms and give him a great big hug and kiss - but instead I told him I was sick, possibly contagious, and that he should stay far away. He walked through the door into the sea of used kleenex on the floor. All those days laying on the bed, my aim just got worse and worse, and I soon gave up even trying to get a dunk shot into the trash bag.<br />
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Tuesday, February 4th, Early Morning:<br />
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All through Monday night Dan kept checking in on me. I was always thirsty. It seemed I couldn't get enough water. I had sweaty chills. I felt terrible. I would go as far as to say, I was delirious. Dan poked his head through the cracked door. I woke up and all of a sudden; I knew I was going to be sick to my stomach. I felt sweaty and feverish, I pulled myself up out of bed and ran to the bathroom.<br />
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Ocupado, damn!<br />
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I headed to the kitchen and in a split decision, decided against barfing in the sink and hovered over the kitchen trash bin instead. Dan came out the bathroom door as I ran him over. "What's going on?" he said, as I pushed my way past.<br />
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This is a disgusting part - but it happened. I had to run for the toilet because I was about to erupt like a Flaming Wheel Of Destruction! Both ends were about to blow. <br />
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My mother had always taught me to wear clean underwear in case you got hit by a car. This went through my mind as The Flaming Wheel Of Destruction blew out at both ends. Cripes! I mean really CRIPES! That was a new one for me. I had barfed all down my new baby blue t shirt, into my underwear and pants! Say again...! Anyone have the guts to admit something like that ever happening to them? I was so sweaty and tired. Dan said my head was wobbling around like a bobble head with a broken spring. My head had two positions, backward or forward. When forward I was forced to look past my puke top into my pukey panties. Backward was a better view - the medicine rack and the ceiling. I couldn't move - all my muscle power was drained. Dan asked me to get up and get back in bed. I just couldn't do it. I couldn't move, at all. I could hardly talk. I could see Dan's frightened face as he asked if he should call an ambulance. I whispered, "Yes." Dan was on it. I somehow managed to kick the up-chucked pant and panties off. I was left in my pukey blue t. We could hear the sirens off in the distance getting closer all the time. Dan tried to urge me off the toilet - but no way! I was going in rock'n'roll style, the way of the "King!" Elvis.<br />
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Fun Fact: Judy Garland also died on the throne. I didn't die; but Dan and I didn't know then how close I'd come.<br />
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The sirens were overwhelmingly loud - out in front of the house. I still couldn't move, I had used up all my adrenaline. I have to take prednisone to keep me going. I can't make adrenaline because of my damaged pituitary. So I was dragged off the throne by some really nice people, who didn't seem to mind that I had a vomity blue shirt and no panites on. They just mumbled that they'd seen worse. Dan is asking them questions and answering questions as to how I ended up in such bad shape. They hoisted me onto a plastic body bag and swung me up on a gurney. It was all very fast and I couldn't see around me much. I did see a firetruck, and I noticed my neighbor, I think. Dan told me later that it was 7AM and everyone was on their way to work. Fun for all commuters, a bit of excitement, and a real eyeful. Not something you see every day, a half naked, pukey old lady, with a purple mohawk being shoved into an ambulance. </div>
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Once I was locked in the back and Dan was in the front cab, we took off like a shot. It was my first ride in an ambulance. The EMS guy kept slapping me, saying the things you hear on TV shows. "Stay with us!", "Don't go to sleep!" I remember he was injecting me with things and saying he couldn't find a pulse or get a blood pressure reading. The sirens were so loud. The guy was trying to keep me distracted telling me the names of the different siren sounds. I thought, I might be on my way out of this world; but I'm not 10 years old! Duh!</div>
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No, they saved my life, and were very nice. The ride felt like it took forever. Dan said it was like two minutes tops!</div>
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I was wheeled into one of the partitioned rooms and suddenly there was a crowd over me. People saying things like, "I still can't get a BP reading!", "I can't find a pulse!" 10cc's of this 10 cc's of that. I could see Dan sitting next to me, making faces at me, and holding my hand; and being very very sweet to me. A doctor jabbed me with a huge needle of adrenalin. I remember his face asking me questions - but I couldn't make out what he was saying.</div>
<span style="text-align: center;">After a CT scan - the doctor with the big needle said I was being admitted to the hospital and I needed to sign some papers. I found myself in a hospital room on the 9th floor with no underwear, </span><span style="text-align: center;">no shoes, no socks. </span><span style="text-align: center;"> </span><br />
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Dan stayed with me until I felt comfortable. People kept popping in every few minutes for tests and such; so I told Dan to go home and rest. I was seconds from sleeping anyway, while hooked up to a bazillion liquids through a painful IV. Dan asked if he should take my shirt home. He left and I imagined him walking home with my Pukey Blue T in a Duke Hospital "These are my personal belongings" bag. Then I thought about how bad things could have gone if Dan hadn't come home when he did. He truly is my hero, my rooster, the one that keeps me going! The one that keeps me living.</div>
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I will continue this story in the next few days. Stay tuned!</div>
Letha Rodman Melchior Soon To Be Cancer Freehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13162208409275940807noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9079471099322298363.post-17954556094890617582014-01-17T18:08:00.000-08:002014-01-17T20:10:59.413-08:00Gyros With Tzatziki Sauce, Anyone?<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-lqLqoM2FmFI/UtmJ3JuSQsI/AAAAAAAABgM/HbHz3BJBaWA/s1600/WL1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-lqLqoM2FmFI/UtmJ3JuSQsI/AAAAAAAABgM/HbHz3BJBaWA/s1600/WL1.jpg" /></a>This is how I feel when I think of all my friends in NY and all my friends all over the world.<br />
I feel such gratitude; it's hard to put into words. The support you all give, emotionally and financially, has kept me going when times have been rough. My psychiatrist asked me how I do it? How do I remain positive when dealing with all the medical issues I've come up against. I've had such difficult times, that when I look back, even I can't believe that I got through it all! My answer to him was, "I know people care about me. I know I'm loved. I have such a network of support, that I have to keep going, I can't give in to this illness. I have people I love that are rooting for me. I can't let them down by giving in to cancer. I can't have it rob me of my life."<br />
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I tell him that the people around me keep me positive, and encourage me in so many ways to never give up, and never give in to negative thinking. He's amazed. I'm amazed! I'm sure I'd have lost my will to keep living at times. I know I'd be way worse off without the love of my friends. So, thank you all so very much. I've said it before and I will always say it; I couldn't do it without you all.<br />
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I'm elated to have such great friends!</div>
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Every time guitars are strummed a birdie gets his wings!</div>
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Gosh! I've let another two months slip between writing. I haven't written in a while because I've been feeling worn out. I had stomach cramps that hurt just enough to make doing anything kind of a drag. Sitting up to write emails, facebook messages and just anything was hard. I'm now taking Ritalin - boy it's made a difference! I'm up and out of bed. I can type without too much trouble and I feel more like my old self. I'm so glad.</div>
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December 3rd I had my brain MRI and I was so relieved that I wouldn't have to have Whole Brain Radiation! I do have two spots that are active; but they're small. They just need to be watched. March 7th they'll take another look - I'll be so upset if anything is found. I'm sure my brain surgeon will strongly suggest the thing I'm most terrified about, WBR! I feel that it will be the beginning of the downhill slide of no return. </div>
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My leg radiation went well, I suppose. It was pretty ugly; my thigh had turned black, and then peeled, like when you have the worst sunburn EVER! </div>
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or how about'a</div>
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My thigh looks almost normal, now. Well, except for the cancer is coming back. So much cancer shit happens in such a short amount of time; its really hard to stay current. The radiation did work, when I had my check up PET on December 18th it was evident how much the leg tumor had broken up. I was very happy about it! But then there was this great big glowing blob on my right breast! My oncologist swore it was cancer. He just didn't know what kind of cancer, breast or melanoma.</div>
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I immediately asked for a biopsy. The breast people didn't want to give me a biopsy - they wanted to do an ultrasound. I'm thinking, 'How can you tell if it's cancer just by doing an ultrasound!' Anyway, I had my oncologist set up an appointment with a breast surgeon. The breast people didn't call.</div>
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Then the holidays went by (Me, Dan, and Glen had a wonderful Christmas Day!)</div>
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So, when January 2nd rolled around I told my oncologist that I never heard from the breast team and also that my leg tumor seemed to be coming back. I eventually met with a breast surgeon and had a FNA (fine needle aspiration) and was told within 20 minutes that it wasn't cancer in my breast. You'd think they could've told me that before the holidays! It's a sebaceous cyst. Now, don't go looking up sebaceous cyst unless you have a craving for gore and love vomiting at the sight of revolting things. Just take my word for it, it's gross. I'll have surgery to take it out because these kind of cysts don't go away on their own. Surgery is slated for February 13th. I'm not afraid, it's a piece of cake!</div>
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Back to the leg...You know when you break a thermometer, and all the mercury spreads into little beads? Well, that seemed to be the case with my leg tumor - but mercury also gathers back up into a mass. I'm a pretty good judge of my body and when things are going wrong. So I felt that I had to have it looked at again. I saw my radiologist and he said I had the highest dose of radiation that I could take, and I'll have to look at other options to treat it if it is cancer. Doing a FNA on my leg wouldn't do any good - it'd be like finding a needle in a haystack. He said it'd be safe to wait until the 29th of January when I see my oncologist. </div>
<br class="Apple-interchange-newline" />I'll have a full assessment then, to talk over new paths to take in my cancer treatment. It'll likely involve real chemotherapy. I'm not excited. <table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This PET is not current (Not from 2 days ago). My slab of chicken is coming back! Damn!</td></tr>
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And one more bit of medical news: I bashed my front teeth through my upper lip a few weeks ago. My big toe got caught up in my pajama pants leg. I bent over, hopping on one foot. (That's something I should never do anymore) Oh man!!!! Nothing like the floor to straighten your smile. Dan was just coming in the door as I realized I was face down on the floor; and as I got to my feet I got very afraid of what happened. There was blood everywhere. I didn't know how bad it was, so I called out to Dan, and said, "Darling! Something really awful has happened!" It was on a Saturday and I wasn't about to go to the ER! No way!!~!!! So, I just constantly iced it and swished saltwater in my mouth until that Monday. Thank God they didn't break in half! The dentist said that there maybe hairline fractures, and possible nerve damage. I'll go back on January 22nd to see if the nerves are dying. If so, the teeth will have to be pulled. But I have a good feeling that I'll be able to keep them. </div>
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They still hurt, and I've only just now been able to close my mouth. When I eat I have to use my back teeth only. This means every bit of food has to be cut in to tiny bits, then thrown down the ol'gullet.<br />
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For those of you that missed the comparison photo I made and posted on Facebook, take a look at this.</div>
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I don't know...I think it's funny! I have a sick sense of humor! I'll have you know the swelling has gone down and the two punctures aren't even noticeable anymore.</div>
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So in closing on this post; I just want to say again how grateful I am to have you all rally around me. The benefit that's going to happen tomorrow is so touching to me - so many people have come together to come to my aid and help me out with my medical bills and also just to keep living. Thank you to Rebecca Gaffney, Jen and Laura Rogers, and to all the people that have helped to make this benefit happen. So many bands/so much fun! </div>
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https://www.facebook.com/events/721038087915201/</div>
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Please go to support the bands! </div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.727272033691406px; line-height: 15.12727165222168px; text-align: left;">NURSE AND SOLDIER-(BOBBY FROM ONEIDA)</span></div>
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Letha Rodman Melchior Soon To Be Cancer Freehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13162208409275940807noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9079471099322298363.post-76919948849806757272013-10-29T17:23:00.003-07:002013-10-29T17:23:39.658-07:00That's Not Chicken!!!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Well, I just saw the image today, and my tumor is not a chicken breast! I was quite shocked by the size of the thing! I only imagined it was that size - (which in my book is quite large enough!) Then I get shown this! I didn't realise that it went on forever. It actually ends about 2 inches from my knee. It's pretty much in it's own compartment in between the quadriceps set of the Rectus Femoris and the Vastus Lateralis. The problem with doing surgery there, is, that there's no way to get clear margins without cutting into muscle. But that's not the main problem. I suppose there is no way of telling where in my body the next bit of cancer will be showing it's ugly face. There are likely a jillion cancer cells floating around just waiting to erupt - so there's no point in trying to cut this one out.You cut things out so they won't spread, and I guess I'm past that point. I noticed that the doctors have taken up saying things about making the quality of my life better. They don't really talk about extending my life anymore. Humph!<br />
Surgery on the tumor may become an option if the radiation doesn't work and the tumor keeps growing. But surgery would delay any upcoming chemotherapy. Yes! I said the dirty word! Chemotherapy! To me that's, "Something, I always never wanted!" <br />
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Somehow I've had it in my mind that as long as I didn't do radiation or have chemotherapy then I wasn't a true cancer person. I was special because I was doing all the front-running forms of immunotherapy! <br />
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I know I said this in my last blog but it's true! And it's my worst fear!<br />
When people hear the word 'Cancer' the image that comes to mind is the frail bald crumbling person on chemotherapy and radiation doomed to death in what could be days.<br />
I DO NOT WANT TO BE THAT PERSON!!!! I WILL NOT BE THAT PERSON!!!!!<br />
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Yesterday was my 9th day of radiation. I guess it hasn't been too bad. I was getting really tired from it and I've had to have naps afterwards. But the worst thing for me was, and is, the reaction to the steroids I'm taking! I'm now trying to ween myself off of the evil things. They ruined my sense of taste! Evidently steroids causes something like thrush, a (nonsexual) Candida that grows in the throat. The bacteria causes everything to taste terrible! Bad! Yucky!<br />
My mouth tastes sooooo bad......it tastes like the bathroom floor of the old CBGB's! It tastes the way a really bad poo smells! A metallic slice of moldy toast? B*I*T*T*E*R!!!!! B*A*D!!!!! It's been going on for a few weeks now and the only thing I can eat without any ill effects is Butter Pecan Ice Cream. Something about the salty/sweet combo levels out the pallet. One (especially one with cancer) can't live on Ice Cream alone. I'm on antibiotics now - And thank god I can drink alcohol with no adverse effects! We got company coming!!!!<br />
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I only have 4 more radiation sessions - I stop on November 4th! Hooray! I just have to be there every day! That's hard to do in itself. That's the machine pictured above. It revolves around but doesn't really make any real sounds or emit any lights. And it's pretty quick. I just don't like the idea of having to have it. Who wants radiation????! I think it will be a month before we know if the radiation worked. It'll take some time and another MRI.<br />
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Yesterday I had some crazy fever 99.9, 100.4, 96.7, 101.2. So I went in early for my radiation appointment and they topped me off with some saline. I guess I was low. I felt very dizzy and lightheaded. They said it could be tumor fever. Where the tumor is dying and is pushing out toxins of sorts into the bloodstream. This can bring on low grade fever. <br />
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As long as I get this taste thing fixed, I'll be happy! - Dan and I are going to have some company!!!! And we plan on going to all the yummy great food places around town. My faves are Chicken Liver Tacos at Nana's Tacos!!!! I used to hate Chicken Livers. I've changed. And Only Burger! Yummy Fried Green Tomato Burger. And Fishmongers! It'll be a lot of fun! I like showing off Durham. It's such a cool place.<br />
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Anyway I'm hanging in there, and I want to say thanks to all the people that have ordered my new record. I really hope everyone likes it. For anyone that hasn't gotten one, you can get them direct from us at <a href="http://danmelchior.net/Records.html" target="_blank">Dan's website</a>. Of course the money goes direct to my cancer fund. So thank you all!!!<br />
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Marsh Of Sleep from Handbook for Mortals by Letha Rodman Melchior</div>
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Love to everyone! LethaLetha Rodman Melchior Soon To Be Cancer Freehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13162208409275940807noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9079471099322298363.post-31150354386582937482013-10-15T20:22:00.000-07:002013-10-18T23:17:52.713-07:00Breast or Thigh?Well...It's been two months since I've updated my blog; and there's been quite a few things going on with me. It's hard to stay on top of it all. I had a PET scan on July 9th, 2013. There wasn't too much to report then; a small fracture in my rib (god knows how that got there?) and some linear glowing FDG uptake in my quadriceps. My doctor didn't seem to be too concerned, and since my brain isn't as sharp as it used to be, I totally was thinking it was small bits of cancer in my left calf. DUH! So, I was compulsively feeling up my left calf, finding no lumps and no changes. Then in the latter part of August, something out of a Three Stooges comedy happened to me. I was in a Food Lion (a supermarket we have down south) and I was picking up some lettuce, walking as I was stuffing it into the plastic vegetable bag; when my hand went straight through the bag and a bit of wet lettuce fell on the floor in front of me. My left foot went sliding out right in front of me, surfing on the small green wave. I realized I was out of control and I had that feeling of hitting the point of no return. I did try to stop my embarrassing fall by turning it into a deep lunge; but there was too much force in it and I rolled on my back with my feet in the air like a water bug trying to flip itself over. Two shoppers came over to pull me up (none of the watching Food Lion staff moved an inch). I felt I was OK . Mostly embarrassed with a sore thumb and a throbbing thigh. I filled out an incident report, and the manager said he would view the video tape. I'm waiting for it to show up on YouTube or in some kind of Fail stream, it was true comedy.<br />
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I was all up in arms about my new brain tumors, and as some time passed I felt I needed to re-read my old PET scan. My next scheduled PET was weeks and weeks away at that time; and I was getting really antsy. I read that the suspect spots on the PET scan were actually in my left QUADRICEPS, and a THIGH is the same thing as Quadriceps! My Thigh had doubled in size. All that time I thought I'd snapped a muscle that had recoiled into the upper region of my thigh. But it hurt in a very specific way that was similar to the way my first tumor hurt. Strange shooting nerve pain that comes on strong and with no warning. <br />
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September 13th I was going to the Duke clinic for a meditation session, in what they call the Quiet Room. It's a room that reminds me very much of the Round Bar that used to be at the Royalton Hotel in NY. Remember, if you stood in the middle of the Round Bar you could whisper and it would echo and people along the sides could hear it as if you were talking in their ear.<br />
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Anyway, I got my doctor to fit me into his schedule, then he called in a surgeon to have a second look. They both said it could be a hematoma because of the way I fell. Blood collected and trapped inside the muscle. They'd have to do a thigh MRI to really know! Christ! I'm an expensive person to have around. There's always something wrong. Long story short: MRI + biopsy = Chicken Breast sized melanoma tumor in thigh. 10cm x 6cm x 3cm! Yikes!! Plus a dime sized melanoma spot in my pelvis!<br />
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<span style="text-align: start;">Then I went in for for my scheduled PET scan on October 8th that confirmed the two cancer spots and a bit of right lobe atelectasis, which is a slightly collapsed lung. I don't think that part is all that serious, thank god!</span></div>
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Then on Monday I went to the airport to pick up Dan from <a href="http://youtu.be/3Xb967--pO8" target="_blank">his shows in Boston</a> - one at <a href="http://www.weirdorecords.com/zen/" target="_blank">Weirdo Records</a> (hello Angela!) and one at Cantab Lounge in Cambridge. I know everyone enjoyed it - (he's so great) and we went straight to the clinic for me to have this crazy styrofoam box with hot rising foam that surrounded my body to make a cast. It's all so I won't move during radiation therapy. That scares me, it's my first (real) radiation. I've been pretty freaked out by it. Mainly because, when you think of cancer, the image you think of is a bald withering person, going through radiation treatments and a chemotherapy drip stuck into a port! Christ! That hasn't been me yet - but I've been super scared about becoming that person. </div>
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I'm on steroids now, and I upped my dose of Zelboraf - so in just a week the swelling has gone down, and in my opinion my leg tumor is shrinking. But I don't have real proof. I will tomorrow though, because I'll have my first bout of radiation and I hope that they let me know what the scan from Monday looked like.</div>
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NEWS FLASH!! I HAVE A NEW RECORD OUT!!!!! ON VINYL - BUT IT ALSO COMES WITH DOWNLOAD CARD FOR ANY OF YOU WITHOUT A TURNTABLE!!! </div>
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<a href="http://danmelchior.net/Records.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">HANDBOOK FOR MORTALS | LETHA RODMAN MELCHIOR </a></div>
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(ps: refresh your browser if you have checked out the website lately)</div>
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<span style="color: red;"><b><u>NOW AVAILABLE ON </u></b></span></div>
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our Website!!</div>
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Go to <a href="http://danmelchior.net/Records.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Dan Melchior's WebStore</a>. The sales direct from us will be linked to my cancer fund through Paypal. It makes me very happy to present this record to the world.</div>
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I'm so lucky, number one, for having a loving husband that sticks with me through thick and thin. And really great friends from all over the world who really care about me, who are helping me immensely! I also have Suki and Mike, and their girls living down here now. They make thing so much better for me. They got me to get out of my slump and get creative with my video for my new record on <a href="http://siltbreezerecords.com/" target="_blank">Siltbreeze Records</a>! Which will be out so soon! Thanks so much Tom!!! Plus check out the new <a href="http://siltbreezerecords.com/" target="_blank">Siltbreeze website</a>! </div>
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Also Suki and I went to Pittsboro to look for Peignoir Sets. That's fluffy double chiffon lingerie. I'm really into it because it makes me feel purdy! This beautiful set came from Candace El's <a href="http://www.etsy.com/shop/KitschAndCanoodle" target="_blank">Kitsch And Canoodle</a>! I love it Candace, I'm floating around the house in my pretty pretty Peignoir.</div>
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I posted the photo below on Facebook a while ago. The funny thing is that, Suki and I happened to be in a thrift store/charity shop in Pittsboro and there was this old lady laughing it up about my purple mohawk. I'm supposing that Lemmie (not his real name) was her son, and right at that time he was trying on a red wig (for halloween?). So I quickly shoved my face next to his for a funny photo! Suki snapped the pic and we all had a laugh! That was the first and last time I saw my (friend for a moment) Lemmie. I named him when I posted the photo. It was a fun day.<br />
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And I'm wearing my WFMU shirt! As you all may know this is the silent marathon month. WFMU is asking for pledges so they can set up a performance space venue for the station. Great idea huh! Let's all make that happen.<br />
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Well, time to go. I have to be on the radiation table at 8am, so I'm ready for a rest! I want to thank everyone who has put on past benefits, as well as recent ones thank you Dylan and Karen. And all the bands that played:</div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px;">"a pair of ill-kempt roosters, fighting over a doughnut. The guy rooster is jibbering in some unknown tongue, turning his face inside out, while shoving the microphone slowly through a hole in his cheek. The girl rooster appears to be pecking at him, either that or she's picking at various trash they have strewn around the stage." - Byron Coley</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px;">OCCULT HAND</span><span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; display: inline; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px;"><br />four hands brew up "the creeps"<br />now hemorrhoid free!<br /><br />ONMACHT<br />maiden voyage of dutch ralf & wild man bills new band<br />harsh hardcore punk<br /><br />MEN OH PAUSE<br />wonky garage witchery<br />their hex, your brain<br /><br />HAIRHOLE DJs<br />no ones favourite night at the penthouse returns<br />with grease for yr lug nuts<br /><br />all for a worthy cause<br /><a href="http://melchiorfund.blogspot.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Lethas Cancer Fund</a></span><br />
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And thanks for the horsey necklace Hayley gave me - that was very sweet.</div>
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Letha Rodman Melchior Soon To Be Cancer Freehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13162208409275940807noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9079471099322298363.post-91017018129807009952013-08-15T22:40:00.001-07:002013-08-16T15:33:21.346-07:00Dark vs Light<div style="text-align: center;">
Please play this music by Haley Fohr's Circuit des Yeux while reading this post.<br />
You can buy her new record 'Overdue' @ <a href="http://www.circuitdesyeux.net/"><span style="color: #990000;">http://www.circuitdesyeux.net/</span></a><br />
I'm in love with this record. Buy it, you'll be happy you did.<br />
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Fear. Paralyzing fear. This is what I've been struggling with these last few months. It sneaked up on me slow like the kudzu that takes over a tree. I didn't realize it until I was so over-taken, that all I could do was lay on the bed, unmotivated and shivering deep inside.<br />
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I was sort of buzzing, but at the same time I felt lifeless. I had the computer on my chest for days as I laid in bed, the only movement was from using my mouse to scroll through Facebook to see how other people were living their lives; then clicking ‘Like’ here and there.<br />
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I don't want to be afraid - but I am. I’m very afraid. I got a relatively good PET scan on July 9th. Tiny bits of melanoma in my left calf but nothing to worry about too much. And I was thinking - 'I’m really beating this thing!'<br />
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But that’s when the black ball of fear started to grow in me. I had a MRI scheduled for August 6th; I'd been having slight headaches and walking to the right a little more that I want to. I'm a like a car with unbalanced wheels, always pulling to the right; hitting door jams and grazing the refrigerator as I walk by.<br />
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It was really interesting - as soon as I was told I had two brain tumors, I felt such relief from the fear. I see now that most of the fear stemmed from the unknown. Once I knew what was going to happen, and a plan was in place; the fear subsided quite a bit.<br />
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I’m going back into the mask on August 22nd with the laser pointed at the dreaded spots.
I've had Radio-Surgery done before, so I'm not too worried about the outcome this time - but three months from now when I get a follow up MRI; I'll be in that black space again, because if anything shows up then I'll have to do whole brain radiation (WBR) and that scares me to death. No one knows the complete effects of WBR - it’s different for each person. My brain surgeon can't give me an answer on how much I'll be affected by it. Most people lose their short term memory; which I already have some issues with. It can make people more susceptible to stroke, and Neurocognitive function impairment. Decline can be expected four months after treatment. To what degree is unknown.<br />
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I can see the pinpoint of the black mass of fear slowly opening again.
I have been thinking of death in abstract ways. Life is abstract. Existence is abstract. The meaning of life is elusive - some say the meaning of life is just the task of living.<br />
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Viktor Frankl concludes that the meaning of life is found in every moment of living; life never ceases to have meaning, even in suffering and death. People who have some reason to reach for, some hope to achieve something will live longer. When a person loses hope, he is doomed.<br />
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It’s an amazing thing that no one in the world knows what happens when consciousness ceases to exist in a person. By all means it is the definition of death - but what then? Nothing? Something? Reincarnation? Do I exist in a parallel universe, and if so will that be enough for me? I suppose I wouldn't know because I could die in that universe too! All this thinking makes my tumors throb.<br />
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I’m trying to put in order what I think and what I want to do once I'm gone. I am leaning towards a green funeral. You can find out what states have facilities for green funerals at the <a href="http://www.greenburialcouncil.org/" target="_blank">Green Burial Council</a>. Lucky for me, there is a place in <a href="http://www.pineforestmemorial.com/greenburials.html" target="_blank">Raleigh</a> where you can be buried without embalming fluid and without a grave-stone - just some trees and natural wilderness to grow around you. I want to be minus the coffin too! Just a burial <a href="http://www.kinkaraco.com/botanika_restspa.html">shroud </a>and it doesn't have to be a fancy one - just one that will biodegrade.<br />
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I had my wonderful beast friend Rufus cremated when he passed six years ago. I would like him to be buried with me; his ashes laid out along my side. I think that would make him happy too! He’s been cramped up in a little white plastic box on our fireplace mantle far too long. Then we could play 'patty cake patty cake' together forever and ever. And maybe hook up with my first love, Slash. He was a black version of Rufus, and my first special furry friend. I was 13 when he died, it was tragic.<br />
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I had thought I was going to die early on in my diagnoses, and a few times since. So behind Dan’s back, I contacted local funeral homes. Yikes!!! I asked for a break down in prices. Coffin vs Cremation. I thought cremation would be cheaper - but you have to buy a body box. It was $400.00! For a cardboard box!! I called the manufacture of body boxes, and they were selling it wholesale for $19.00! My God! That’s a mark up!<br />
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I asked them if I could order just one. They said no, they only sell to funeral homes, not individuals. So I called the funeral home and asked if I could use a refrigerator box. No - not allowed! Crazy! They got us all over a barrel! If you would like some fact's about the true cost of end of life services refer to this website: <a href="http://www.funerals-ripoffs.org/Pg1A-(Crem)E.htm" target="_blank">Funerals and Rip-Offs.</a> <br />
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Some good news: I found out that I get my burial paid for by the Osage tribe for up to $3,000.00 - and I can be buried anywhere in the United States. That's the bit of land we American Indians get back from the genocide of the Indian Wars and the land that was stolen from the indigenous people by the white immigrants of the "New United States".<br />
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So, awhile ago I saw this great talk on TED, by <a href="http://www.ted.com/talks/jae_rhim_lee.html" target="_blank">Jae Rhim Lee</a>, about cremation and how it releases toxins into the air, and Jae came up with a death suit made of dirt, mushroom spores and bugs. That sounds appealing to me, you get a jump start on giving back to the world. I’d rather be a tree than be under one.<br />
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Another interesting thing about what happens to the brain when near death, is that there is a defense system in place inside the Pineal Gland called Dimethyltryptamine (DMT). When the brain is in danger the pineal gland releases DMT creating white light and psychedelic epiphanies. This DMT can be found in most living things and is easy to find in certain plants. It is used in ceremonies in the Amazon jungles, to see the reality of the world. </div>
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I found this interesting - because while watching You Tube videos of people's experiences I recognized that I too had that experience in the hospital when I was in my first round of IL-2. What I wrote back then mirrors what these many people experienced in their life changing epiphanies. </div>
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Written on March 27th, 2011.</div>
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The Meaning Of Life Between Each Blink</div>
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I kept the DVD player going day and night - it got easier to watch, it became great company. The thing about it was, that as the days went on - I started to see things behind the images. There were bright yellow, trimmed in black, triangles and rectangles holding all the images in place. Each particle of an actors face was hinged on one of these geometric shapes. I could only see them when the scene changed or when I blinked. I noticed as I reached the higher numbers in the amount of doses I took, I could see there was something behind everything that existed when I blinked. Maps, formulas, and equations squashed in-between the spot where your upper and lower eye lid meet. These images showed how everything is put together, how all things work - the secret to life if you will. I kept thinking that's so much information for one person to know. How could I possibly retain it all. So when Dan popped in to watch over me I tried to forget about it and instead told him of my animal friends waiting for me at home. Dan asked which friends? And I replied, " Beaky (our sweet parakeet), and you know, the furry hippo!" Dan just laughed!</div>
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Quotes on Death</div>
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I'm not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens. - Woody Allen</div>
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I'm strongly against it! - Woody Allen</div>
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What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet. - Woody Allen</div>
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From my rotting body, flowers shall grow and I am in them and that is eternity. Edvard Munch</div>
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Never, never, never give up. Winston Churchill</div>
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I have learned over the years that when one's mind is made up, this diminishes fear; knowing what must be done does away with fear.</div>
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<a href="http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/r/rosa_parks.html" style="color: rgb(0, 51, 153) !important; text-decoration: none;">Rosa Parks</a></div>
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So I guess I'm just doing my best to live and keep on the edge of excitement and creativity, and confront my fear to make friends with it, and learn from it. I've been practicing meditation, I find it hard - but I want to learn to be with myself and be aware of the world around me - I'm sure there are so many things I've paid no attention to in the past.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Funeral stills from Who are you Molly Magoo<br />
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Love to everyone who has been so caring - it's been very special to know I have such great support around me. It's one of the things that keep me going. Thank you!<br />
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I would love it if anyone that reads my blog would become a member of my page - but don't feel that you have to.<br />
And if anyone wants to share about their feelings of how they want to go or what they think what happens at the point of death. I'd love to know your views. Just make a comment. I'd be interested in what other people think. Love!</td></tr>
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Letha Rodman Melchior Soon To Be Cancer Freehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13162208409275940807noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9079471099322298363.post-70542613994169610442013-05-03T19:40:00.001-07:002013-05-04T15:18:52.662-07:00The Many Faces of Cancer - These Are All Mine<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://melchiorfund.blogspot.com/" target="_blank"> Donate to the Melchior Fund</a></div>
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Well, I got two new Brain Tumors, I found out on April 30th after my MRI. The next day I was re-fitted for my face mask. I have to say it was very tight! I can't think of many worse things than being clamped to a table with a plastic mesh mask clamped to my poor old head. At least this time there wasn't a fly landing on my nose every two seconds. I go in on May 7th for my radio surgery. Again the worse part is being clamped to the table. The radiation dosen't hurt. I may get a headache, but it shouldn't be too bad.</div>
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This is the MRI of my spots. Funny, I also noticed on these MRI's that my nose is crooked. When they went in for my Pituitary surgery in 2011 the guy said he fixed my nose - to me it looks like he twisted it - It's all out of shape! Anyway you can see on the new MRI circled in blue, is a new tumor - in the old MRI it's just beginning to show. Then I also have a new tumor on the top of the ol' noggin. I'm lucky that these are small and shouldn't pose a threat. The doctors say they're too small to make a difference, but I swear I can feel them affecting my balance. It's also hard to type correctly - though I'm on a lot of drugs and my eye is still fuzzy from that detached retina - so, it's hard to tell where one symptom ends and another begins! </div>
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This is the machine I'll revisit next week.</div>
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These days, I'm more concerned about my stomach issues. My upper intestines are always aching - but I'm getting that checked out next week. I hope it can get sorted, because if I wasn't doubled over with pain all the time - I'd be feeling pretty good! Aside from the nuggets in my brain - I don't have cancer anywhere else. I had a scare in the beginning of the month. I had a hard knot in my breast ( the one that's always acting out and wanting attention) It was deemed suspicious, and biopsied and thank God; it was just an annoying cyst!</div>
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So, I've been dealing with some stressful issues regarding Medicare. I will be dropped by my insurance and go into the medicare system starting June 1st. I've had 24 months of SS disabilities, so I automatically get transfered. It's so confusing!!!! I have to get supplemental coverage plans, and I have to try to find financial aid to pay for my $10,000.00 per month drug, Zelboraf. Apparently I have to go through some $2,989.00 Medicare doughnut hole then, start paying co-pays on drugs. My co-pay for Zelboraf would be $585 per month. So now I have to try to get on their financial plan to get either free drugs or very cut rate prices. I'm filling out so many forms! And I can't see! Everything is blurry and I have short-term memory loss! YIKES!!! I find it so stressful! </div>
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I have gotten someone to guide me and hold my hand through this amazing foundation called the Patient Advocate Foundation! They're a god-send!!! If you need help with any aspect of being a patient they're there to help! They'll make phone calls for you and keep track of what your next step should be. They are just great! Go there and find help!! </div>
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<a href="http://www.patientadvocate.org/" target="_blank">Patient Advocate Foundation</a> or Call PAF's case management team at 1-800-532-5274 or email them at: help@patientadvocate.org </div>
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I would like to thank all those people who have contributed to my medical fund and to those who have thrown benefits in the past, and to those who have future events planned. Thank you to WXDU in Durham and the Pinhook, Greg Cartwright, Joint D≠ , The Dirty Little Heaters, and of course my wonderful loving husband Dan Melchior. It was a fun night! It took me two days to get back to my normal strength. I over extended myself. Here are a few highlights of the night:<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My sweet Hero!</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Greg was kind enough to humor me in some wiggy fun!</td></tr>
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We, Dan and I, found ourselves in the vehicle line at McDonalds since the inside was locked but they were still serving the cars. I guess you had to be there; but everyone was laughing, including the people behind us (about 6 cars worth)! It was fun.</div>
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It was goofy, but we were hungry!</div>
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Now, don't judge me; but I have gotten into a bad habit of trying to look un-cancery, and have gone beyond the pale! I'm now addicted to wigs, fake eyebrows, fake contacts, glittery-sparkles and photoshop! What can I say! It's fun to play dress-up and pretend that I'm a Normal.</div>
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Below are my brown contacts that hide the scars on my eye and make my iris's sharper.<br />
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The wig I'm wearing is an $8.00 wig I ordered in February off of Amazon. It was made in China and had free shipping so I knew it would take a long time to arrive. But it was getting ridiculous! It took many many emails from Yvonne (? - a US configuration of her real name I'm sure) to figure out what happened to it. Seems it had arrived in Durham but the postal person couldn't read the address, so it had got sent all the way back to where it came from. Then they had to boat it over again. Somehow it smells like a Chinese grocery, but it'll air out with wear!</div>
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-3_fiARLKiJM/UYM_xMzDmsI/AAAAAAAABHc/mlEg4wPdWFA/s1600/LethinBrown.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-3_fiARLKiJM/UYM_xMzDmsI/AAAAAAAABHc/mlEg4wPdWFA/s320/LethinBrown.jpg" width="270" /></a></div>
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Then there are the purple contacts I got just for fun!! Yes I look crazy - but in most light you can't tell they're purple and they just look like an odd brown, and not like a zombie's eyes when they see something tasty.<br />
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-PPuJFr-vNFc/UYM_y7uA56I/AAAAAAAABIE/BL2hqM1uKJs/s1600/crazy+purple.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-PPuJFr-vNFc/UYM_y7uA56I/AAAAAAAABIE/BL2hqM1uKJs/s1600/crazy+purple.jpg" /></a></div>
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-tDMoro5ExeY/UYM_z7wcqHI/AAAAAAAABIc/Cj6oipC76cg/s1600/cupurple.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="233" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-tDMoro5ExeY/UYM_z7wcqHI/AAAAAAAABIc/Cj6oipC76cg/s320/cupurple.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-0KvC5bFEC6Y/UYM_wiBUUkI/AAAAAAAABHU/FL1ClxIImCE/s1600/LethaPurp.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-0KvC5bFEC6Y/UYM_wiBUUkI/AAAAAAAABHU/FL1ClxIImCE/s320/LethaPurp.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Violet Eye's don't happen in nature - but they're purdy!</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-lEKSXPhzCBA/UYM_xWObxTI/AAAAAAAABHg/5-Y3Q2CIbnI/s1600/LrPurple.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-lEKSXPhzCBA/UYM_xWObxTI/AAAAAAAABHg/5-Y3Q2CIbnI/s320/LrPurple.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Who is this person?!!!!</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-i61b8--rBVk/UYM_yOvuB6I/AAAAAAAABH0/e3OKSH64600/s1600/blueEyeball.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="274" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-i61b8--rBVk/UYM_yOvuB6I/AAAAAAAABH0/e3OKSH64600/s320/blueEyeball.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">OL' BLUE EYES!</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-20x6iA8SwwY/UYM_u93e6vI/AAAAAAAABGo/wSkPLM6bIso/s1600/IMG_4415+copy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-20x6iA8SwwY/UYM_u93e6vI/AAAAAAAABGo/wSkPLM6bIso/s320/IMG_4415+copy.jpg" width="287" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I thought the Blue eyes would off set the druggie round face! But no I'm stuck with a druggie round face for awhile!</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-8kCc2L_80Pc/UYM_vk8PTEI/AAAAAAAABHA/lL0fIGzChGQ/s1600/Lblue.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="208" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-8kCc2L_80Pc/UYM_vk8PTEI/AAAAAAAABHA/lL0fIGzChGQ/s320/Lblue.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I don't know who I look like, but it's not me. Dan hates these blue contacts.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-ml3zEzzGI-I/UYM_ygL9qAI/AAAAAAAABII/IAM3d0HWDt8/s1600/bluueleth.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-ml3zEzzGI-I/UYM_ygL9qAI/AAAAAAAABII/IAM3d0HWDt8/s320/bluueleth.jpg" width="267" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: left;">Maybe this is why! I look hypnotized! Notice in the background, how lucky I am to have been sent Edward Gorey's The Black Doll made by <a href="http://www.necessariestoyfoundation.com/" target="_blank">Necessaries Toy Foundation</a> . Thank you Two-bit Johnny! I look like one of the <a href="http://necessariestoyfoundation.com/desk/desk.html" target="_blank">FAWN Candy Girl dolls!</a></td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">more blue.</td></tr>
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I've been possessed! I'm just looking for ways of taking control of how I look I suppose.</div>
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-1GYDyuF03ZA/UYM_0ZCwTWI/AAAAAAAABIs/eP_r_RLtv58/s1600/darkmystery.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-1GYDyuF03ZA/UYM_0ZCwTWI/AAAAAAAABIs/eP_r_RLtv58/s320/darkmystery.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-c74hnBQJr9o/UYM_0jvtzBI/AAAAAAAABI4/GUXW9vjy0Vg/s1600/fishing+blue.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="292" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-c74hnBQJr9o/UYM_0jvtzBI/AAAAAAAABI4/GUXW9vjy0Vg/s320/fishing+blue.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Hello, I am Hans, your tour guide on this cruise of the Rhine - next sausage break 18.00 hours!<br />
Caption by Dan</td></tr>
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Now this is the real me! I got tired of my real hair. It changed into an 15 year old wire-haired dog, named Tuffy's hair! UGLY!!! MANGEY!!! It was out of control, and made me feel like my old next door neighbor Margie, who's perm didn't quite take. AWFUL!!! I was so bald in some places and not in others. What to do?!! We are taking back control over here, and cancer will not make my choices for me when it comes to hair styles! So Dan cut my hair in to a Mohawk!<br />
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/--X4eLyE0sNo/UYNA7PQh71I/AAAAAAAABKE/ywORFzf9TEo/s1600/lerth.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/--X4eLyE0sNo/UYNA7PQh71I/AAAAAAAABKE/ywORFzf9TEo/s320/lerth.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
I love my Mohawk! It'll be much cooler for summer and under wigs. (I'm very susceptible to the sun because of my drug) I'll be using Lots of sunscreen!!!!<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-aAWwqrOOxWc/UYNBMuR4HvI/AAAAAAAABKQ/FSi02QkpNgI/s1600/Letha+Cat.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-aAWwqrOOxWc/UYNBMuR4HvI/AAAAAAAABKQ/FSi02QkpNgI/s320/Letha+Cat.jpg" width="213" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I thought I could look like Gary Panters WFMU cat! And if I make my Mohawk into a flat top, I could go for the look of Jimbo! RAW!</td></tr>
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I also have to let you know, that I was the lucky person that got to model the new<a href="http://www.wfmu.org/playlists/shows/50462" target="_blank"> Jim Krewson Tee for Brian Turners show on WFMU!</a> <a href="http://www.wfmu.org/playlists/BT" target="_blank">Listen to Brian's archived shows!</a><br />
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-6yvUQB6gacE/UYNBMoEEqCI/AAAAAAAABKM/Iur2V9j7K2o/s1600/Letha.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-6yvUQB6gacE/UYNBMoEEqCI/AAAAAAAABKM/Iur2V9j7K2o/s320/Letha.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
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Here's spiting in your purple eye cancer!!!!!</div>
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-pv_4m3xfU78/UYM_5Nds30I/AAAAAAAABJw/V7OSwIdv7jA/s1600/purpleEye.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-pv_4m3xfU78/UYM_5Nds30I/AAAAAAAABJw/V7OSwIdv7jA/s320/purpleEye.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
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PS:<a href="http://melanomamonday.com/2013/where-orange-for-melanoma-monday/" target="_blank"> Monday, May 6th, is Melanoma Awareness Day</a> - so get out your 80's black clothes and dress like a goth! Oh! I got it wrong you are suppose to wear Orange to show support. I'll have to get some orange contacts!<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-wPLDL2tYcFw/UYQ6rKJpCZI/AAAAAAAABL4/O0trkwxhgyU/s1600/orange+eye.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-wPLDL2tYcFw/UYQ6rKJpCZI/AAAAAAAABL4/O0trkwxhgyU/s320/orange+eye.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
Letha Rodman Melchior Soon To Be Cancer Freehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13162208409275940807noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9079471099322298363.post-86792260993394680502013-03-07T10:46:00.000-08:002013-03-07T10:46:38.999-08:00A Good Comb-Over Does Wonders!<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">In this blog I want to call attention to all the people that have helped us by coming up with great ideas to raise money for my medical expenses, which are going to be changing for the worse later this year! It's really going to be hard to keep up. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">I want to thank Johnny Brewton and his press <a href="http://www.xraybookco.com/" target="_blank">X-Ray Book & Novelty Co</a> for making this Broadside of Dan's poem 'Hello, my name is Barbeque'. There have been 100 copies made that are to be given to anyone who makes a $20.00 or more donation to my medical fund. <span style="background-color: #b6d7a8;"><span style="color: #333333; line-height: 18px;">The size of the broadside (14X6 and 3/4's) and is a 3 color letterpress on high quality paper/card stock.</span><span style="color: #333333; line-height: 18px;"> </span><span style="color: #333333; line-height: 18px;">That $20 includes shipping.</span></span></span><br />
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-I-UpY3fvong/UTgQSCRSvAI/AAAAAAAABFw/HhRIsLnNb1E/s1600/broadside.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-I-UpY3fvong/UTgQSCRSvAI/AAAAAAAABFw/HhRIsLnNb1E/s320/broadside.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 17.99715805053711px; text-align: start;"><span style="background-color: #b6d7a8; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Or, for $35 (including shipping) sent to brokerevue@hotmail.com through paypal, you can get the broadside and the album 'C.C.D.E Music' Dan's newest release. (pictured above)</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="line-height: 17.99715805053711px;">The Photo below is shocking - at least to me it is; but I have found the wonders of a good comb-over and cover up! When looking on in disgust, keep in mind this means my drugs are working! So I have to look at this new development as a good one! I'm going to embrace it and turn it into as Dan says, "A hat parade!" I can't seem to settle on any one look in particular. Depending on the temperature - too hot - too cold - which one is just right? It's hard to say. I've already had three on today!</span></span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-KJT2qQcyaOY/UTgPWAAwAqI/AAAAAAAABDI/chsECt3iDsQ/s1600/Bald+Jerry!.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-KJT2qQcyaOY/UTgPWAAwAqI/AAAAAAAABDI/chsECt3iDsQ/s320/Bald+Jerry!.jpg" width="312" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: small;">You may wonder "What is this a photo of?? Focus, and then it comes clear that I have gone quite bald in spots.</span></td></tr>
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-uTcOKP-0VHo/UTgPbxTF9JI/AAAAAAAABEA/yofnaI6OKjU/s1600/Just+I+can't+Believe+it.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-uTcOKP-0VHo/UTgPbxTF9JI/AAAAAAAABEA/yofnaI6OKjU/s320/Just+I+can't+Believe+it.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
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Is this the hunch back of Noter-dame's mis-shaped head? No it's just me, going bald! But with the right comb-over I can still pull off a Semi-decent hair-day; as long as the wind is still. And thank god for the Eyebrows which can be found at <a href="http://www.headcovers.com/11297/realistic-eyebrows-15/" target="_blank">Headcovers Unlimited</a>. They're fantastic and stay on for days!!!! I've even showered with them. They really stick. For anyone who's tired of drawing eyebrows on their face; I highly suggest getting these.<br />
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-YbGAVPRfhYk/UTgPc8xr5LI/AAAAAAAABEQ/ghEvBEW53lI/s1600/Letha+Combover.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-YbGAVPRfhYk/UTgPc8xr5LI/AAAAAAAABEQ/ghEvBEW53lI/s320/Letha+Combover.jpg" width="240" /></a><br />
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So now it's show and tell time with all my new headcovers and wigs!</div>
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-MeV-zROE7pA/UTgPW3blX8I/AAAAAAAABDQ/BsJGQn5KBtk/s1600/CU+Letha+BW.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="309" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-MeV-zROE7pA/UTgPW3blX8I/AAAAAAAABDQ/BsJGQn5KBtk/s320/CU+Letha+BW.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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Here I am as a WFMU supporter gal! I'm in my longest wig and eyebrows!</div>
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-XdEg-Uwt5Qo/UTgPhkvUxhI/AAAAAAAABFI/mQyd6FLVlZU/s1600/WFMU+Leth.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-XdEg-Uwt5Qo/UTgPhkvUxhI/AAAAAAAABFI/mQyd6FLVlZU/s320/WFMU+Leth.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
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Don't forget that this is WFMU pledge time. Let's keep our favorite radio station up and running! They got hit hard by Sandy last year and need extra help this year! So pledge and get some great swag like the hat and shirt I'm wearing!</div>
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<a href="https://www.wfmu.org/marathon/pledge.php" target="_blank">WFMU MARATHON 2013</a></div>
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Here is my longest and lightest weight wig. I suppose it'll be good in the summer, but it's a bit loose and the wind could send it flying! I got it free at Duke's Boutique where they give a free wig, scarf, woolly hat and turban to those that have lost their hair. I feel like a teenager in this one!<br />
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-QQ8fOD2p0ug/UTgPeNSlBiI/AAAAAAAABEc/CunIFX43HDI/s1600/Letha+Long+Wig.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-QQ8fOD2p0ug/UTgPeNSlBiI/AAAAAAAABEc/CunIFX43HDI/s320/Letha+Long+Wig.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
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This is a hair hat I made myself. Inspired by <a href="http://www.wearwithattitude.com/ziggy.htm" target="_blank">Wear With Attitude</a> fake fur hats by Ms Presto! She even gave me tips on how to make this one. In an instructional You Tube video shot in the nude!!! I love her!! For those who don't want to go through all the trouble to sew your own, go to Ms Presto's great webstore in the link above. I've had so many compliments on this one. And it's my personal fave to wear!<br />
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-fL202WdmwRA/UTgPe4_jybI/AAAAAAAABEo/ORWX3XpfUEg/s1600/Monkey+Leth.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-fL202WdmwRA/UTgPe4_jybI/AAAAAAAABEo/ORWX3XpfUEg/s320/Monkey+Leth.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
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Notice in the photo above the painting Dan did of the day he and I first met at a party in 1999!</div>
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-UM8rfOePiHI/UTgPd9V_cyI/AAAAAAAABEY/O6v5c0bUEqA/s1600/Monkey+Hat.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-UM8rfOePiHI/UTgPd9V_cyI/AAAAAAAABEY/O6v5c0bUEqA/s320/Monkey+Hat.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
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This is a free scarf from Duke Boutique! And wig from the ghetto store down the street! </div>
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The wig that looks most like my hair used to!</div>
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-mF_LDpw6JBU/UTgPiuuxeEI/AAAAAAAABFY/2u3LDIpPWYo/s1600/black+wig.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-mF_LDpw6JBU/UTgPiuuxeEI/AAAAAAAABFY/2u3LDIpPWYo/s320/black+wig.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
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That same wig in pig tails! </div>
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-dCJ09GyqtBI/UTgPjz0G6nI/AAAAAAAABFk/lcJKZhMRLpw/s1600/pigtails.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-dCJ09GyqtBI/UTgPjz0G6nI/AAAAAAAABFk/lcJKZhMRLpw/s320/pigtails.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
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My favorite scarf that used to belong to Clare Harmon. I love it, and think of Clare just about every day! I wear it a lot!!!!!</div>
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-DAs7aJnHXaI/UTjZryct3OI/AAAAAAAABGA/JuU6q8XdqdE/s1600/Clares+Scarf.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-DAs7aJnHXaI/UTjZryct3OI/AAAAAAAABGA/JuU6q8XdqdE/s320/Clares+Scarf.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
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My least favorite acquisition from the Duke Boutique - Dan thinks it looks too much like a cancer cap.<br />
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-F_cAYX9y-L8/UTjZsQgSVpI/AAAAAAAABGI/qGCBNkb74f0/s1600/Brown+hat.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-F_cAYX9y-L8/UTjZsQgSVpI/AAAAAAAABGI/qGCBNkb74f0/s320/Brown+hat.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
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My prison scarf - I love it! It'll be great for summer. Here it looks more like a railroad train hat. But photos are deceiving.</div>
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-JEKdzqec_84/UTjabKIhbiI/AAAAAAAABGQ/aAU4ta4pP-0/s1600/Prision+Scarf.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-JEKdzqec_84/UTjabKIhbiI/AAAAAAAABGQ/aAU4ta4pP-0/s320/Prision+Scarf.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
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My favorite hat that I got in Wilmington. People think I'm a crazy loon when wearing this. I don't see why! It's so cute! They must be afraid of clowns!</div>
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-4jtUiZR00lI/UTgPadnX0qI/AAAAAAAABD0/qG-lPKIL_G4/s1600/Clown.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-4jtUiZR00lI/UTgPadnX0qI/AAAAAAAABD0/qG-lPKIL_G4/s320/Clown.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
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And I look good in it!</div>
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-6wFtKngpCIc/UTgPcNo-LnI/AAAAAAAABEE/tRvAD1l1i6Q/s1600/Leth+Clown.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-6wFtKngpCIc/UTgPcNo-LnI/AAAAAAAABEE/tRvAD1l1i6Q/s320/Leth+Clown.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
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Me looking pretty good for a beat up, dissected cancer person!</div>
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-PTls4XbQDmU/UTgPY8fsySI/AAAAAAAABDg/nCq4zMf5cds/s1600/CU+Letha+color.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="309" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-PTls4XbQDmU/UTgPY8fsySI/AAAAAAAABDg/nCq4zMf5cds/s320/CU+Letha+color.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; text-align: left;">I want to thank all the people that have given their time and efforts to put on benefits. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #b6d7a8; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="color: #333333; line-height: 18px; text-align: left;">Tom Abs and </span><a aria-controls="js_0" aria-haspopup="true" aria-owns="js_0" data-hovercard="/ajax/hovercard/user.php?id=24501740&extragetparams=%7B%22group_id%22%3A0%7D" href="https://www.facebook.com/TicklePolyester?group_id=0" id="js_1" style="color: #3b5998; cursor: pointer; line-height: 18px; text-align: left; text-decoration: none;">Adam Downey</a><span style="color: #333333; line-height: 18px; text-align: left;"> of Northern Spy, and WFMU's great Brian Turner.</span></span></div>
<span style="background-color: #b6d7a8; color: #333333; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; line-height: 16px;">NYMPH</span><br />
<a href="http://bandofnymph.bandcamp.com/" rel="nofollow nofollow" style="color: #3b5998; cursor: pointer; line-height: 16px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank"><span style="background-color: #b6d7a8; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">http://<wbr></wbr><span class="word_break" style="display: inline-block;"></span>bandofnymph.bandcamp.com/</span></a><br />
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<span style="background-color: #b6d7a8; color: #333333; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; line-height: 16px;">Peter Stampfel (of the Holy Modal fuggin' Rounders)</span><br />
<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UrQGR87EDZM" rel="nofollow nofollow" style="color: #3b5998; cursor: pointer; line-height: 16px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank"><span style="background-color: #b6d7a8; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">http://www.youtube.com/<wbr></wbr><span class="word_break" style="display: inline-block;"></span>watch?v=UrQGR87EDZM</span></a><br />
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<span style="background-color: #b6d7a8; color: #333333; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; line-height: 16px;">Key Of Shame</span><br />
<a href="http://decimus.bandcamp.com/album/key-of-shame" rel="nofollow nofollow" style="color: #3b5998; cursor: pointer; line-height: 16px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank"><span style="background-color: #b6d7a8; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">http://<wbr></wbr><span class="word_break" style="display: inline-block;"></span>decimus.bandcamp.com/album/<wbr></wbr><span class="word_break" style="display: inline-block;"></span>key-of-shame</span></a><br />
<span style="background-color: #b6d7a8; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br style="color: #333333; line-height: 16px;" /></span>
<span style="background-color: #b6d7a8; color: #333333; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; line-height: 16px;">Greg Fox</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #b6d7a8; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="color: #333333; line-height: 16px;">He's in Japan with ZS right now: </span><a href="http://www.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.infinitelimbs.com%2F%2301d%2Ftumblr&h=pAQFwGWoe&s=1" rel="nofollow nofollow" style="color: #3b5998; cursor: pointer; line-height: 16px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">http://<wbr></wbr><span class="word_break" style="display: inline-block;"></span>www.infinitelimbs.com/#01d/<wbr></wbr><span class="word_break" style="display: inline-block;"></span>tumblr</a></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: #b6d7a8; color: #333333; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; line-height: 16px;">DJS</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #b6d7a8; color: #333333; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; line-height: 16px;">WFMU's Brian Turner</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: #b6d7a8; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="color: #333333; line-height: 16px; text-align: center;">Tickle Polyester</span> </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #b6d7a8; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="color: #333333; line-height: 17px;">Zak Boerger for putting together </span><span style="color: #333333; line-height: 18px;">Circuit des Yeux, Rabid Rabbit, These Wonderful Evils, and Nad Navillus</span></span></div>
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Melissa Oresky for her Collage on Demand</div>
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Hugo Santos, Manel Pena, and Gloria De Lotos in Spain.</div>
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Univers in Barcelona, Spain</div>
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; line-height: 17.99715805053711px;">And to all the people that have donated to my fund - I thank you from the bottom of my heart for keeping us going and for keeping my spirits high! I love you all!!!! </span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; line-height: 17.99715805053711px;">If there's anyone that I didn't mention please forgive me, and know that you were thanked too! I couldn't get along without the help of others!</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #333333;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; line-height: 17.99715805053711px;">LOVE!!!!!</span></span></div>
Letha Rodman Melchior Soon To Be Cancer Freehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13162208409275940807noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9079471099322298363.post-83371917574681486302013-02-20T15:37:00.001-08:002013-08-14T21:51:15.669-07:00The Naked Truth<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Sometimes it's just really hard to sit down and write this blog! I get tired and it's really hard to remember all the things that have happend, both good and bad. I still have such a hard time typing. It could be the combo of blurry eyesight, leftover brain tumor, or just what people call chemo-brain. I don't like that term - but I know I have foggy hazy longlasting clouds of knot completely engaging with what is happening. I misspell words I know how to spell. I know the difference between not and knot. I have very short term memory too. I'll walk into a room a completley forget what I was doing. Typing is hared because my fingers arn't conected to my brain and the keyboard in the same way they used to be. I find that I have to spend so much time fixing what I wrote. When I go back to review, I find that I used words that I didn't know I had typed that have nothing to do with what wanted to say. I'm don doing any corrections so you can get an idea of how bad it get's most of the time.</div>
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(I have to start correcting again. I can't stand looking at all the dyslexic twisted words. All though I'll tell you that I have to correct my own name a lot ot her time (a lot of the time) Letah Ok! Enough!)</div>
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I'm at the clinic and have been here since 11 am this morning now it's 2:26. I'm waiting for the pulmonologist. Just for a checkup. If you have read my past blog, you will know that I've been having panic attacks. All this time I've been blaming prednisone for my jumpy heart and breathing issues, and I was just suffering anxiety. Earlier this morning I saw my cancer counsellor and my psychiatrist; so now I'm very tired and sleepy.</div>
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I've been having all these changes with my drug doses which has made me feel like being a big o' lump. I found out that I had 0 (bordering on undetectable) cortisol levels, and that's why I wasn't feeling very motivated. I've had chronic diarrhea, which I thought was the fault of the Zoloft - but turns out it was the Zelboraf. I take something like 20 or more pills per day! That's too many!~</div>
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Please play this mp3 while reading this next bit. This version is by Sons of the Pioneers.</div>
umbling Tumbleweeds 1946.mp3<br><embed type="application/x-shockwave-flash" src="http://www.4shared.com/flash/player.swf?ver=9051" style="" id="ply" name="ply" quality="high" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="false" wmode="opaque" flashvars="file=http://bobnolan-sop.net/Biographies/The%20Story%20of%20SOP/Ken%20Carson/Ken%20Carson%20audio/Madison%20audio/Tumbling%20Tumbleweeds%201946.mp3&volume=50&" height="20" width="200"><br>Powered by <a href="http://mp3skull.com/">mp3skull.com</a><script type="text/javascript" src="http://mp3skull.com/embedcl.php"></script>
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So, I was sleeping the other night and my eyebrows fell off. It's crazy I still have hair on my head - but nowhere else. The hair on my head can also be found in tumbleweeds all across the house. Hair is EVERYWHERE! It's amazing I still have any on left on my head- though, I suspect I'll be looking like Cindy Lou Who in about one or two more months. Had I any forethought, I could have saved it all up for a wig made of my own hair. I can feel it dropping out of my head. I'm like...What's crawling on me? Oh! It's only wayward strands of hair on a voyage to the floor, sink, car, etc... </div>
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-wdw1q6dPhtM/URralOrrUQI/AAAAAAAABBU/A6hq1Gjwlmg/s1600/cindylou-who-coloring.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-wdw1q6dPhtM/URralOrrUQI/AAAAAAAABBU/A6hq1Gjwlmg/s320/cindylou-who-coloring.jpg" width="249" /></a></div>
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I decided that if it all goes, I'll make some kind of fake fur hair hat, instead of a wig. And maybe some crazy Anime contacts for the eyeballs. I quite like the dolly ones.</div>
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-dBwd4gtYtdM/USVNd3S050I/AAAAAAAABCg/E_J5euhbI40/s1600/Screen+Shot+2013-02-20+at+5.25.28+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="66" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-dBwd4gtYtdM/USVNd3S050I/AAAAAAAABCg/E_J5euhbI40/s320/Screen+Shot+2013-02-20+at+5.25.28+PM.png" width="320" /></a></div>
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<a href="http://www.candylens.com/categories/Brown-Color/" target="_blank">Crazy Dolly Eyes! This industry has grown!</a></div>
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<a href="http://www.pinkyparadise.com/category_s/1848.htm" target="_blank">More colorful Happy Eyes!</a></div>
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The key to not feeling bad about what's happening is not to look in the mirror very much. I'm super lucky because I have such a loving husband that thinks I'm attractive no matter what. He's always there for me, and I love him! Though he does like it when I have eyebrows! Which makes sense, because everyone looks like an alien when they don't have hair above their eyes! I don't miss the lashes so much, because I never really wore tons of mascarra.</div>
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I'm very good at drawing on eyebrows, from all my years as a makeup-artist - but drawn ones are flat and rub off quite easily. I did do this for a while, and it's OK but....</div>
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I started to think about fake wig eyebrows. Surely they exist? I hunted high and low for something that looked natural. I found some at <a href="http://www.headcovers.com/" target="_blank">Headcovers Unlimited</a>. But at the time, they only had mens blonde eyebrows, and they happened to be on sale for $13 - from the usual $44.00, because they were out of stock on all other eyebrows; and obviously blonde men hadn't been kicking the doors down for fake eyebrows. The eyebrows are made from real human hair with a latex backing- so I figured I’d buy a pair, cut them down then dye them black.<br />
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I couldn’t wait to get them! When they arrived I was shocked and excited to see they came from the little town I grew up in, called League City, Texas; not only that, but just down the street from where I lived as a child! I used to ride my banana-seat bike up and down that road. Now I’ve got two fuzzy human hair caterpillars glued to my face, and they came from my little home town! Weird! The glue holds fast and has held strong for three days straight! That's withstanding showers and my facedown sleeping habit, they're amazing! I’m spreading the word, and trying to get <a href="http://www.headcovers.com/" target="_blank">Headcovers Unlimited</a> a deal at Duke Boutique, the little cancer shop in the clinic. Everyone wants eyebrows! Right?</div>
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I remember in the 90’s there was an Asian girl in the East Village that had thick black electrical tape eyebrows. I think after awhile she started to paint them on instead of using tape; she may have worked at Indochine. I didn't know her - she was just, noticeable. Now I ask, was she just trendy and ahead of her time being 'Arty"; or was she having some medical issues that needed disguising? Hmm.......</div>
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<span style="text-align: start;">Anyway I’m happy with</span><span style="text-align: start;"> </span><span style="text-align: start;">my new eyebrows which look pretty realistic.</span></div>
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Enough about eyebrows!</div>
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I've been seeing a physiatrist to deal with the anxiety I've acquired. And I think back to the beginning. My god! I don't know how I got this far. I don't even realize what I've been through. Like having a brain tumor - I hardly remember that! To most people it would be crippling - but to me it now seems just like a blip. It is amazing how much of a force this cancer is to reckon with. I think I’m in a good place with it, then whammy - something else happens. Right now I feel like I’m in a good place. I have lot’s of drugs to take that are giving me loads of side-effects, but I’m much less cancer-y than I have been. The lung nodes are hanger-on’s but the rest of me is clear -‘wondrously clear’! I have to say, that my Pulmonologist confessed to me that he thought I was doing poorly the last time he saw me, and he thought to himself that I was on the decline. He was a bit shocked (happily) to see how well I’m responding to the Zelboraf. It’s true I am responding. The Zelboraf’s making squemous cell sarcomas on me that have to be removed every so often, mostly from my face and back. As I write, I still have the bandaid on my face from the surgery I had a few days ago. I told the dermatologist that it didn’t matter to me if the surgery made a scar. It doesn't matter, because I’m now more scar tissue than skin! "What?! Who cares?!" (pulling at my shirt at the neckline).</div>
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I look surprised in this photo - because I could very soon look like.....</div>
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This!</div>
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"What!? Who Cares!?"</div>
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Isn't that what cancer's all about? Having fun with the last bit of life you have, and enjoying the people around you? I'm a lucky one!<br />
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PS: !!!!!!! There are very cute fuzzy hat's like the one pictured above at: <a href="http://www.wearwithattitude.com/ziggy.htm" target="_blank">Great Fuzzy Hats Fur Every Occasion!</a> These hat's are terrific!</div>Letha Rodman Melchior Soon To Be Cancer Freehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13162208409275940807noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9079471099322298363.post-85010549167619687992012-12-20T15:20:00.003-08:002012-12-20T15:33:44.122-08:00Fear and Loathing of Dying of CancerI apologize to all my readers for not keeping you up to date. I've been laying low for the last two months while my eye was healing. During this time, I've found that I've been quite paralyzed with fear. The fear of dying of cancer. I haven't been a normally functioning person. The fear crept up on me quiet like, and then pounced. It made my heart pound. My heart has been creeping and crawling around in my chest, beating hard like Pepe La Pew's chest popping heart, when he's after that cat! The feeling has made me so uncomfortable I'm unable to do almost everything. I really didn't think I had been thinking of dying, but I suppose I have. It's amazing what our subconscious is capable of.<br />
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At the end of September I was rejected from a clinical trial, was found to be in need of a blood transfusion, and had a grueling eye operation that I'm still recovering from. I have had, on and off for the last year, problems with my heart - racing, palpitations etc. I always blamed my prednisone, but every time I was tested for problems, the results showed nothing out of the ordinary. That is, until I wore what's called a Holter Monitor for 48 hours. This contraption revealed that I have chronic anxiety! The results below show what looks like children's scribblings. No wonder I've been so uncomfortable all the time!<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Not Normal Heart Beats</td></tr>
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I've yet to tell you the great news! The Zelboraf drug is working and my cancer is down! I only have cancer in my lungs. The bit that was in my small intestines and chest has gone! So I'm thinking I should be feeling great! Why am I not feeling great!? I should be racing around the block, jumping up and down and parachuting like some old lady doing her bucket list. Instead, I've been clutching at my chest, being short of breath and have a manic jimmy leg. I've been quite paralyzed for the last few weeks and haven't been able to do much of anything. I did take Dan on a trip to one of the neighboring towns, just to get out to do me some good - but sadly it ended in a white knuckled, full on panic attack at the wheel of our car on the highway! I made an early exit off the highway fearing I may succumb to my light-headedness, and drove slowly down the back roads home. I've now been prescribed Zoloft, and have seen a bonafide Psychiatrist who has diagnosed me as having chronic anxiety.<br />
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The Zelboraf has been a bit difficult to tolerate. I've broken out in a goose bumpy rash, and moles with skin tabs (luckily these were removed last week) - I've been looking like a haggard Witchy-Poo through October (which was at least seasonal) and November too! I get what Dan and I call Zelbor-Bumps. These are large red bumps on the bottom of my feet (it feels like I'm walking on marbles) and around joints, hands, elbows, knees etc. But they always go away after a few days.<br />
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I have also been, under doctors orders, weaning off of Prednisone and Levothyroxin which has made me incredibly emotional. It's leveled out now, but in my heightened emotional state my good friend Joe died unexpectedly. I couldn't believe it! As many others who dearly loved Joe, I couldn't imagine the world without him. It hit me very hard. It put the fear of death in me. I've thought of dying, but just can't imagine what that would be like. What would the experience be like? Would it hurt, and then not hurt? I watched my cat, my dear sweet Rufus die before my eyes. We had to put him down because of his kidney disease, and we chose to be with him, to comfort him when he was euthanized. It was horrible! There he was, my Rufus; then when the injection took hold he was gone. He was truly gone. He wasn't my Rufus any longer. Death is so strange. I'm here now and then one day I won't be here. I get sad when I think about the things I'll miss out on. Future things I couldn't know about. How can one miss the future? I do sometimes. I think about Joe, and how he lives on in the people that loved him. I suppose I will live on in the people around me, in what they remember of me. I try not to be afraid, but I suppose there isn't a way to not fear the unknown. So I do my best to put it out of my mind and go on living like nothing is hanging over head. It's been harder with my eye not working well. I haven't painted, read, or been on the computer much. But now that my eye is healing, and I have a new glasses prescription, I plan to make some more music and do some more paintings and get back to living. I can't wait for that Zoloft to kick in!<br />
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I want to wish everyone a very Happy Holiday and a great New Year! And I want to thank everyone that has helped us out since my diagnoses. We couldn't have managed without your support! To know that people really care, means the world to me! I thank you from the bottom of my jumpy heart!<br />
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Dan and I have a very nice day planned for Christmas! We're making Glen a fun climb-about tunnel for his present and we'll be eating and drinking all day!<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My New Heroine <a href="https://www.facebook.com/iambublog/info" target="_blank">Lil Bub</a></td></tr>
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Lil Bub is my new heroine, she helps her animal friends by raising awareness of important animal causes. Below is a quote from Lil Bub discussing her new face book page <a href="https://www.facebook.com/LilBubsBubuddies" target="_blank">Lil Bub's Bubuddies</a>:<br />
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<span class="messageBody" style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: 1em; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Hey guys! It’s me, BUB. As you may or may not know, I try to help out other animals in need by sharing their stories on my page. I share stories about how to help out shelters, encouraging adoption, spaying and neutering and other important animal causes. I now get so many requests to post stories of this nature that I can’t share them all on my page, and that has been a hard thing to figure out because i’d like to try to help everyone I can. So that’s why I created this new page “<a href="http://www.facebook.com/LilBubsBubuddies" style="border: 0px; color: #ff0059; font-family: inherit; font-size: 1em; font-style: inherit; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: initial; vertical-align: baseline;" target="_blank" title="bubuddies">Lil Bub’s Bubuddies</a>”. This is a place where folks can submit stories of animals in need, fund-raisers and other animal-centric stuff for me to share. So please share this page with your friends anyone else that might find helpful or interesting.</span></h5>
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Lub,<br />
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Letha Rodman Melchior Soon To Be Cancer Freehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13162208409275940807noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9079471099322298363.post-68418576094599392122012-11-13T09:18:00.001-08:002012-11-13T09:28:18.687-08:00The World's Turned Upside Down<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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It's been a long time since I've written an entry on my blog. I've been feeling quite overwhelmed. Since I was in NY, so many things have happened to me and the rest of the world - it's hard to know where to begin or what to say.<br />
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Staten Island, New York, New Jersey, and the rest of the East Coast have been hit so hard. So many people have had their lives altered, lost possessions, and life. Just about everything has changed - it's hard to go on about myself at the moment.<br />
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I try to make myself feel better about all the devastation by making small donations to:<br />
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<a href="http://operationbbqrelief.org/donate">Operation BBQ</a><br />
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To help feed people who have been displaced and have lost everything, and to feed the many people who have been out there working on restructuring neighborhoods, and helping where they can.<br />
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<a href="http://www.nycares.org/donate_now/index.php">New York Cares</a><br />
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NY Cares, who are helping in every way to restructure areas that have been hardest hit - And who are having a Coat Drive - Please send gently used coats to them.<br />
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<a href="http://wfmu.org/">WFMU</a><br />
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And our wonderful radio station WFMU that is now in need of repairs, and has still been broadcasting through hell and high water. I'm sure could use some donations as they got hit during their silent fundraiser. I will be sending a watercolor to Brian Turner's show - that will be given as a prize during one of his future shows. So look out for that, and make donations!<br />
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Also It's been brought to my attention that there is this amazing Occupy Wall Street's 'Rolling Jubilee', which is an organization, a People's Bail Out from bad debt. What an amazing idea! Too many of us live in fear and oppression of bad debt. I love this and I think we should all band together to get out from under the financial institutions thumbs!! Please look at this and donate to this project when you can:<br />
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<a href="http://rollingjubilee.org/">Rolling Jubilee</a><br />
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<a href="http://howtosharpenpencils.tumblr.com/post/35285338188/the-peoples-bailout">The Peoples Bailout</a><br />
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Wheew!<br />
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I think I'll leave this post as is and write some good news along with my trials and tribulations in the next week or so.<br />
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Lots of love and wellness to everyone!Letha Rodman Melchior Soon To Be Cancer Freehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13162208409275940807noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9079471099322298363.post-8013261613547567772012-09-29T10:46:00.001-07:002012-09-29T15:25:28.987-07:00The Look of the Crypt Keeper!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-ezR7r2Qu1oo/UGZo8AirX8I/AAAAAAAAA5U/0rmdZvMboN8/s1600/CRYPT-KEEPER.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-ezR7r2Qu1oo/UGZo8AirX8I/AAAAAAAAA5U/0rmdZvMboN8/s320/CRYPT-KEEPER.jpg" width="232" /></a></div>
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Upon arriving home, I had lot's of appointments lined up. I had my Zelboraf drug ordered and ready to be sent the day after I got home. I saw my oncologist, had a blood transfusion, canceled my PET Scan to make way for emergency surgery on my detached retina. Yes, after seing Dr Hahn, it was definite that I had a detached retina, that was getting worse by the moment !- I was well on my way to permanent blindness! I started my Zelboraf pills - 2 in the morning and 2 in the evening - they are big enough to choke a horse! I'm very worried about the side effects of this drug and anytime I've been outside in the world, I'm covered head to toe in sunscreen, sun poncho, hat, scarf and gloves (thanks Clare!)<br />
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At a Denny's after my first meeting with Dr. Hahn, Dan and I encountered the worst coustmer service ever! I'm assuming it was my 'get up' that turned our waitress against us - in addition to the sun protective outfit, I also had some wrap around sunglasses on under my real glasses, due to my dilated pupils from the exam . She took our order and that was the last we saw of her, at least around our table. She could be seen scrubbing every surface behind the counter at Denny's keeping her nose to the grindstone, so as not to have to look at us. We had to make do with other passing waitresses to check on our food, refill our drinks and give us our check. Dan actually complained to the management which is so unlike him. I can't help it if I look like a freak! I'm just frightened by the sun - and don't want to look like a pork cracklin'!<br />
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I had my eye operation on Tuesday September 18th, and after watching the full procedure video on You Tube the night before, I knew exactly what I was in for. I don't really suggest that a person watch an operation of what is going to be done to them the next day - but I was afraid they would have to take my eye out of my head to cinch it up in a silicone belt! I needed to know how that was done. It was gruesome to watch and it was exactly what my operation ended up being. The whites of my eyes were cut away from the Iris and pealed back like a grape, Four sets of slits were made, upper, lower and on both sides in the muscle so that a thin silicone belt could slip through and cinch up my eye in a belt - tight. The whites flapped back over in place and sewn to the iris - Well just good as new! Nothing like any images conjured by tales of frankenstein. It worked!<br />
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The laying on my left side for ten days was much better than having to lay face down - but still not much fun.<br />
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The thing that I find hard is that I feel SO impaired! This eye thing at the moment seems so much worse to me than having cancer. It makes it so impossible to function as a normal person. I don't feel like painting - being on the computer - doing collage - taking photos - reading - watching TV - driving - making music or just about anything else that keeps me entertained and distracted from my cancerous state. I find it very hard going. But I have to do my best to not let it get me down too far. My loving husband went out and got me a black eye patch that makes typing possible. I will test the waters to see if it will help make other activities possible. I hope so!<br />
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I posted a photo of how I now see things out of the eye that was operated on - to give an idea of what it's like to see through mismatched eyes; an eye that flat out doesn't work! Don't worry - I'm sure things will get better - in time, in time. Also just to let you all know I look better already - but my camera isn't uploading for me to put up better photos. I won't look like these photos forever!<br />
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I also posted through links, very gruesome - <span style="color: red;">I MEAN GRUESOME </span>- photos that shouldn't be looked at by the squeamish! All this will, in time turn to a normal looking - and I hope into a normally functioning eye!<br />
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I had two days ago, two 'Procedures' that were not fun - mainly painful as all get out! I screamed the whole way through and the doctor threatened to quit 3 times - but I told him I wasn't going to do a cleanse again and he had to keep going no matter how much I vocalized distress! We made it through an endoscopy and colonoscopy (one after the other) to find that I'm looking A-OK there! But what a drag! I suggest that every one that has to have one done to go completely under. It was awful!!!<br />
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To end that day, after I signed the discharge papers the discharge nurse rushed us out into the waiting room saying she had to walk us out to the car. We didn't drive and was waiting on a taxi - she stood over us complaining about how long it was taking and how she wanted to go home! Dan barked at her, saying she was making things difficult - she half apologized - but was so awful. I ended up complaining about her attitude to Duke. It was really uncalled for the way she treated us.<br />
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<b>This photo is fine to look at. It is a facsimile of how I see out of my operated eye. It's safe to look at:</b><br />
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<a href="http://glensoriginalbirdtoys.com/images/mysightcopy.jpg">What I see out of my left eye.</a><br />
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<b><span style="color: red;">Very Gruesome Photos! Beware - Do not look unless you can take it!</span></b><br />
<b><span style="color: red;">Large photo of very bloody eye!! Whites sewn on to Iris -Pupil overly dilated! Ugly! Very bloody! The Links below are gruesome - look at your own risk! </span></b><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-eUAeM2KhfKs/UGY2Z7Ebw7I/AAAAAAAAA5A/KJ8P_bO5rjY/s1600/Left+Eye+Swell.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="150" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-eUAeM2KhfKs/UGY2Z7Ebw7I/AAAAAAAAA5A/KJ8P_bO5rjY/s200/Left+Eye+Swell.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Quasimodo - First day after!</td></tr>
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<a href="http://glensoriginalbirdtoys.com/images/eye4.jpg">Gruesome Eye 1</a><br />
<a href="http://glensoriginalbirdtoys.com/images/eye5.jpg">Gruesome Eye 2</a><br />
<a href="http://glensoriginalbirdtoys.com/images/eye6.jpg">Gruesome Eye 3</a><br />
<a href="http://glensoriginalbirdtoys.com/images/eye3.jpg">Gruesome Eye 4</a><br />
<a href="http://glensoriginalbirdtoys.com/images/eye2.jpg">Gruesome Eye 5</a><br />
<a href="http://glensoriginalbirdtoys.com/images/eye1.jpg">Gruesome Eye 6</a><br />
<br />Letha Rodman Melchior Soon To Be Cancer Freehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13162208409275940807noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9079471099322298363.post-41495899973835437292012-09-29T10:26:00.001-07:002012-09-29T15:16:46.689-07:00How To Keep Up When Things Are Happening Too Fast!?I don't know how I'm supposed to keep up with this blog when so many things are happening! It doesn't help either that I'm half blind, and my computer keyboard is wavy and has spots!<br />
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I was going to write a lengthy account of NYU's ER and my clinical trial dismissal - but now I think I'll try to keep the account on the shorter side, so I can be more current and relevant.<br />
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NYU's ER wasn't as horrific as I had thought it would be. I got filtered out of the waiting room pretty quickly. Though I did spend quite some time in the ER room -from 4:00PM to 11PM. I ended up having a CT scan and three eye exams by three different doctors. Very, very young doctors I might add; one women who looked like she was 22, and some 27ish year old males. All three hovered around me in a discussion over a sonogram one of the doctors did of my eye. To me the image was disturbing and it looked very much like a retinal detachment (pictured in a previous blog entry) - but the three doctor's collective opinion was that it was just loose floating vitreous. I was really lucky that my great friend Stacy came to the ER just to keep me company. That helped the experience to be a better one, since it had been a long time since I've seen her. With her there the ER faded into the background and if we'd had a beer in our hands it would have been just like old times! It didn't matter where we were, it was just great getting back together!<br />
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Earlier while I was waiting to be seen - I got a bit of great news from the trial people. Seems that the drug company said they would foot the bill of my expenses for the trial. I was so happy that I still had a chance at the trial. I had been told to go to see a dermatologist in the morning and that I would need to be at the clinic for the beginning of the test. Since the eye wasn't looking like a detachment - things were really looking up for me.<br />
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After a relaxing evening with Mike and Suki, I prepared to meet the next day. I took a car service into the city this time - no chances were going to be taken with me falling over in the subway. The dermatologist was quick and saw nothing of interest, which was a good thing! Next I was off to the clinic. I walked the three blocks, and it was the first time I actually felt connected; that I was indeed in NY. As soon as I got to the clinic, they ran the blood work through the tests. It turned out that I was very low on Hemoglobin. My reading was 8.7 ( By the time I got back home at was at 7) It's supposed to be between 12 and 14! No wonder I was so slow, light-headed and faint! I was very anemic. The trial people wanted to arrange a blood transfusion on a Saturday. I was like, OK what ever it takes! I'm sure I'll feel better! Then I asked to make sure the drug company was footing the bill on the transfusion- and the trial girl went white, stopped what she was doing and ran out of the room. A few moments later everyone, including the doctor running the trial came in the room. There were some somber faces and heavy sighs. I looked them over and said, "You're all here to tell me I can't be part of the trial! Right?!" All eyes were cast to the floor, except for the doctors, who said, the transfusion wasn't going to be paid for by the trial. She went on to say, that they were sorry I had spent the time and money coming up to NY, but I should just go home and get care there. That was the end of it! To say I was devastated, is an understatement. I had tried so hard, I mean SO HARD to do everything I could to be a part of that trial and it wasn't working out. I had to re-adjust my thinking into being happy that I had tried so hard; and now I knew for a fact that treatment at home was the best thing out there for me. I could put it all behind me because I knew I did everything I could to get two more years out of life, but failed.<br />
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I got on the 2nd Ave. bus, got out at 13th street, then began my search for a dark bar to cry in. The problem was it was too early, 2:00! All my favorites wouldn't open til 4! I searched out Life Cafe (Thinking it'd be open for lunch) - But, no, it's closed; and I thought I'd settle for one of these new Hooka Bar's - but YUCK! I couldn't see myself weeping next to a giant Hooka Pipe. I thought of Lucy's - closed, and the old Odessa - closed; but the diner part of Odessa was open. So, I sat in the front booth to watch the Avenue A'ers parade in front of me as I drank back my beer and let out some tears. I was thinking about how the east village really hadn't changed. Just the people were younger versions of the same people that were out and about when I was around. Replacements. Replacements with more money.<br />
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Stacy met me at Odessa, which made things so much better. After a beer and fries with gravy on the side - we sat in Tompkins Square Park. It was such a nice late afternoon. We met up with a great painter and friend, Santino, at the Indian food place on 1st ave that has all the chile peppers hanging down in peoples plates. At first I was a bit worried that it would be a bit overwhelming for me, in my anemic and blind state - but once we were seated it was just a lovely evening. I didn't want it to end - but Stacy was smart and made sure I didn't over extend myself, and we ended up having the best time, the three of us, in Stacy's car driving back to Brooklyn. Nothing replaces meaningful conversation!<br />
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Mike and Suki took such great care of me that night and the next day - and I had a few visitors come by - Clare Harmon, and Ken Schles. I was feeling fragile, and Mike kept filling me up with fresh vegetable juices - keeping me topped up on some much needed energy, and nutriments. I was very thankful to have such good friends!<br />
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Mike and I went out that night to meet up with Brian Turner and Ryan Martin at a great Thai place called Zaab-Elee. Wow! What a great place and what a great evening! That was one of the highlights most definitely! The food was out of this world and the company couldn't have been better! Thanks Mike, Brian and Ryan for a great NY moment!<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Amigos!</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Happy Times!!!!!</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Hard to say Goodbye!</td></tr>
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<br />Letha Rodman Melchior Soon To Be Cancer Freehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13162208409275940807noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9079471099322298363.post-37399257632055150772012-09-16T16:03:00.000-07:002012-09-16T17:00:22.184-07:00I ♥ NY<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-U8qzHthZffA/UFZOL6nQi4I/AAAAAAAAA34/4Y8aojiSPXc/s1600/IMG_2366.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-U8qzHthZffA/UFZOL6nQi4I/AAAAAAAAA34/4Y8aojiSPXc/s320/IMG_2366.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Most all my NY photos were taken from the inside of a car.</td></tr>
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Day one:<br />
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Well, I don't really know where to begin with this one...For those of you who don't know, I tried sooooo incredibly hard to get into a clinical trial for Zelboraf with a MEK inhibitor. I had some big stumbling blocks on the way - like a brain tumor that had to be zapped, but I was so anxious about being part of the trial, nothing else seemed to matter. The brain tumor was just something that set me back by three weeks! I only saw it as a small obstacle! Once the tumor had been deemed stabilized (really it was gone) I had the green light to go to the trial's screening process. The Friday of Labor Day weekend I noticed that my peripheral vision had gone. I was at the fabric store in Durham getting items to finish off my sun proof ponchos and ducked into a dark Chinese restaurant. While slurping up my hot and sour soup I noticed the man sitting to my left had disappeared! What?! I turned my head, and there he was wrangling his chop sticks like a pro. I turned back to my soup, and he disappeared again! I got on the phone to Durham Eye Center to try to get them to see me right away - but as it was getting late in the day they couldn't arrange it. They tried to set me up with an appointment in Raleigh that next Tuesday - Monday was Labor Day, and I was set to leave for NY on Wednesday. I knew I'd be seeing an opthomoligist appointed by the trial so I let it slide, keeping Tuesday for errand running.<br />
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I was happy to be staying with Suki Hawley and Mike Galinsky who took incredibly good care of me. I was picked up at the airport and visited with them and their two sweet kids that evening. I was super nervous about my appointment the next day - which was the first day of school for Fiona and Harper, that was nerve wrecking enough for Suki and Mike; and to add me into it, what a crazy Thursday it was going to be! I intended to go alone into the city for my appointment - but Suki said she would come with me after the kids were dropped off. Wow! I'm very grateful she did come.<br />
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I suppose all the travel and worry, the fast pace of the city, added with the heat and humidity just piled up on me - everything turned to slow motion. I got weaker and weaker with every step I took towards the Clinton/Washington subway station where I was to meet up with Suki. We took the G to the Metropolitan Station, and by that time I was gasping for air. It was hard for Suki to keep my pace because I was walking so slow. People blurred as they rushed past us. I'd done that ride years ago, over and over again; steps, tunnel, steps, long walk, steps, platform, train, steps, etc. But now it was just way too much for me. On the platform waiting for the L train I glazed over and told Suki to watch me. I shimmied against one of those tall stainless steel electrical boxes and just about went down. Thank god I had Suki to keep me on this side of this world. We made it on the train and all the way to Third Avenue, where it was our intention to take the bus to 34th Street. Outside on the corner looking at the huge city, I felt overwhelmed again and sought out a fire-hydrant that was sticking out the side of a drug store to sit on. While I sat - Suki dashed to get me some water. Again, Suki kept me on this side of blackness. Thank you Suki! I saw a banana waving in front of my face. A bite of it and a drink of water gave me strength to go on - but this time in a cab! I had turned into one giant glob of sweat!<br />
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I registered as a new paient at NYU Langone Medical Center and it took ages for me to settle down. I felt like mercury beads slowly coming back together in a Sci-Fi movie; after an hour I became whole again. Suki stayed with me while the trial manager talked me through the process and walked me through the contract. I signed and initialed each page. They gave me an itinerary of appointments and I was ready and willing to do it all - anything I could do, so I could live longer with the inhibitor drug. I had mentioned my eye to them before I had arrived in NY, so they asked me about it. I told them my peripheral was going in and out and they wanted me to see an opthamologist right away. This is where we hit our first snag. The trial opthamologist was out of town so the set me up with a Dr that would have cost me $1,400.00 out of pocket. He existed outside the trial approved physicians.<br />
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The trial manager sent a new person in to talk to me and pretty much said that the trial was going to be too expensive for me, and I should consider going back home. She said that I could go to the ER and have my eye checked out there to see if I had a detached retina (that would keep me out of the trial) and she was going to see if the drug company would foot the cost of all the trial.<br />
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I didn't like the sound of going to the NYU ER. Who wants to go to an ER?! I felt faint and was going to walk the three blocks but I didn't trust I could make it without Suki who had to get to a business meeting. So I waited for the bus. I climbed aboard and tried shoving my metrocard into the slot - but it had been covered with tape. The driver said to me, "Where have you been?" I said, "Away for six years! I'm going to the ER." He explained how I was to use the machines at the bus stop and get a receipt to show. Gawd! It took me forever to make my transaction. I turned around expecting the bus to be gone - but there he was patiently waiting for me. I rode the three blocks and he pointed out the ER entrance. New Yorkers are nice!<br />
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I'll write the next instalment while at the clinic tomorrow. I have a hemoglobin check, a talk with my Oncologist's PA about Zelboraf's side effects, a session with my cancer counselor, a moment with the Duke finance department, and an appointment with the Pre-Op team about Tuesday's surgery. Oh! And a phone call with my new eye surgeon! It'll be a full day! Whew!Letha Rodman Melchior Soon To Be Cancer Freehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13162208409275940807noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9079471099322298363.post-89593780835759171112012-09-15T16:28:00.001-07:002012-09-16T08:42:33.792-07:00Holy Crap! What Now?!!!!!<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My visit to NYU ER - Oh, the good ol'times!</td></tr>
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I thought I best get on with doing this blog, because so many things have happened, and now it looks like I'm going to be face down in a pillow 24/7 for 10 days straight (24/10)!<br />
I have a detaching retina - and I was kinda OK about it - matter of fact, like, just get it fixed! Right? But now it looks like I might have to spend ten days face down after the operation as my detached retina heals. Only getting up 15 minutes at a time, each hour. This is a 'quite common' regime in the retinal healing process; though my eye surgeon made it all seem like a walk in the park. He also said that a Sceleral Buckel, a gas bubble, or vitreous replacement is used in repairing detached retinas. For me, the Dr. said it could be one, or a combination of those remedies listed; and it wouldn't be decided on, until he was able to get in there and see how bad it was.<br />
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Here's where it all went pear shaped!<br />
I must admit, I looked on some internet forums to get an idea of what the post op healing process would be like, and Freaked!!! I'm still up the Freakland high-tower and will be there until someone gently talks me down. People on the forums were talking about having to lay face down with their head in one position for 10 days. That's looking into a pillow for ten days! No reading, no computer, no watching TV, no sudden movements, no sitting upright for more than 15 minutes each hour. 45 min down/ 15 minutes up. For ten days! No knitting, painting, no playing cards - just me and my new best friend, Pillow! It's just so dreadful to me! To me, it's worse than cancer! If I'm sitting up and facing the world, I can at least pretend that I'm normal - That's hard to do laying face down looking at a pillow. That is not a normal life! A pillow shouldn't be looked at that long - it's damaging! I can't stand the thought of doing nothing for ten days straight! How will I get through it? - Oh, the imaginary horror!!<br />
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I won't really know until after the surgery what my post op routine will be - but I can tell you this, other people out there in the world had to lay face down for ten days straight, un-drugged! That is my definition of hell and my new worst nightmare! I'm a fidget-er! I have to be doing something! Always!<br />
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I was thinking I would leisurely write my blog over the next few days, but now I feel such pressure knowing I can't type while face down. I'm not supposed to strain my eyes. I'm not supposed to look at a computer! I was going to tell of my up and down roller coaster ride of being in NY, but I might just have to put that on the back burner. We'll see. I might feel like getting it together for tomorrow - I mean it's unbelievable all the things that happened! Good and Bad, and Ugly, really Ugly! And Good!<br />
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If any of you have had a detached retina repaired - please write to me and let me know it's not that big of a deal. And it's only ten days! Right!? And that I can lay still for that long. People get through hardships everyday - right! They get through it - right! Even if they have to look at a pillow for ten days. Right! I mean it, please write to me if you've had this problem!<br />
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I do want to say this before I go:<br />
Love to all in NY, especially my host Mike Galinsky and Suki Hawley, who took such extra special care of me. Thank you! I couldn't have been there without their help. Please support them and their film Battle For Brooklyn at Dean Playground on Friday September 28th at 8PM!<br />
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I'll do my best to keep on writing.<br />
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LOVE!!!Letha Rodman Melchior Soon To Be Cancer Freehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13162208409275940807noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9079471099322298363.post-17713347825670157192012-08-24T10:54:00.002-07:002012-08-24T11:53:07.137-07:00The Money Pit Of Staying Alive<br />
I saw the images side by side, and it seemed true, the brain tumor that had been a hot white glowing spot on my cerebellum had changed into black hole. What! Three weeks after radiosurgery and it's gone! I spread the news on FaceBook and got lots of cheers and hallelujahs, (thank you all!) but the best and funniest response that I got, one that made me double over with laughter, was from Ryan Martin.<br />
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<i><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">FUUUCK yes!!!!! This rules, but I do want to forward the idea of having surgery regardless, and putting in a diamond or emerald where the tumor was and have MTV document the procedure in their new reality spin-off show Pimp My Brain (hosted by Xzibit, of course)</span></i><br />
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This was so funny to me. It's had so much replay value in my little cancer world. I bring it up every time I have a chance. Thanks Ryan! Pimp My Brain! I wish I could!<br />
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So, what all this means (the disappearing Brain Met) is that I have the OK to go to NYC to see a Melanoma Specialist for a screening, that will hopefully allow me to take part of a clinical trial. This is great news! And terrifying news!<br />
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I'm scheduled for an appointment at 11am on September 6th. I don't know how many days I'll be there for the consultation, which includes many test, PET scans, CT, MRI's, blood test etc. If I pass these tests then I will return to NY on September 17th or so to begin the trial treatment. I will be there for 4 months, a long time to be away from home.<br />
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The main drug I'll be taking is the FDA approved Zelboraf. This drug kills cancer quick! It also has many side effects, too many to list, but one being photosensitivity. This is why, while I'm in NY, I'll be looking like a NY crazy! I will be covered head to toe, in whatever will keep the sun off me. Otherwise I may blister up and get sent to the ER.<br />
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I'm making UPF/UV Sun Protectant ponchos. I'll also be wearing gloves, yes, in the summer! I do not want to walk around as one giant blister with a single hair. For some people, hair falls out if you get a fever while on the drug, and the sun induces fever.<br />
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The second drug is called a MEK inhibitor. This is the trial drug; it has been shown that this drug keeps the Zelboraf working. Zelboraf on its own works well for about 7months. After that the body get's imune to the drug's effects and the cancer comes back with a vengeance. So this MEK inhibitor keeps the Zelboraf working and people can get quite a few years in before going into the downward spiral to death. Who doesn't want to keep living longer? Anyone?<br />
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I have to tell you all, that getting this close to a trial has been so incredibly hard. I've been turned down for about 40 trials because of my history with breast cancer. NYU is the only one that has considered taking me on. It's all so confusing too, because to get the best chance out of life, I have to get care so far away from home (Thank God I love NY!). This means that I'll be out of state, and out of network, and I'll be responsible for all balance billing. What does that mean!?<br />
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I have tried so hard to find out how much this trial is going to cost me. I'm calling it 'The Money Pit of Staying Alive'. Air travel, housing cost in two cities, and the completely unknown cost of my medical needs. Ugh! I feel ill and I'm already ill!<br />
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I had called Duke to get prices on PET's, CT's, and MRI's along with labs and ekg test. That was the easy part! But I couldn't get the same information from NYU, they didn't have the codes or the information of what tests I'd need. So, there's no way to know how much my responsibility will be. I set up a consultation with a trial manager here at Duke thinking she might be able to shine the light on what my responsibility will be; and what I can expect. Her news was not good. She said, that I and my insurance company will be responsible for my standard of care. Which means everything except the un-approved drug. You would think that a clinical trial would pay for all testing and care by the drug company running the trial - but, NO. The drug company will only pay for the MEK and a few tests regarding the MEK only. I do know that I'll need 5 PET's (around $6,000.00 each), and the trial will only pay for one. The rest is up to my insurance company and me. And, I have been informed by the clinical trial manager in NY, as well as the benefits listed in my minuscule State insurance, that insurance companies, mine included, <u>Will Not Pay for Any Experimental Treatment</u>. It's just so damn confusing! I just wanted a few little things....<br />
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I want to stay alive and I want to know how much it'll cost me.<br />
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I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past and those who will donate in the future. I don't know how we will manage. I fear we're getting in over our heads!Letha Rodman Melchior Soon To Be Cancer Freehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13162208409275940807noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9079471099322298363.post-37865410132340904822012-07-29T11:05:00.000-07:002012-07-29T20:00:15.170-07:00La femme au masque de fer<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="background-color: #b6d7a8;">Time is warped for me. It goes slow, so slow, I don't know how or when I will ever arrive at the moment I feel I need to be in. The events that I want to take place seem so far away and unobtainable.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #b6d7a8;">I'm just waiting for time to pass. Waiting again, to know what my future holds. I have to be careful with the time I have. I don't ever want to wish it away, but sometimes it's hard living in the moment. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #b6d7a8;">My Radiosurgery went well. It didn't take that long really. 45 minutes clamped on the table. What made the experience difficult, was that the face mask that had been made for me in the previous week had shrunk about 2 sizes when it was allowed to cool completely. I thought I had been prepared for the experience, I thought I knew what the mask would feel like. I took two lorazepam to keep me calm while on the table; I thought that would have been enough preparation, but once I was in the radiosurgery room I felt rushed. Everything was done at breakneck speed. My belongings had been handed off and piled up in a chair in the corner as I was led to the table. As I laid down, the back part of the mask cradled my head. Within the first second my head hit the back, the front part of the mask was placed over my face and tightened, clamping me to the table. I was shocked at how tight it was! Had it been any tighter I would've had the marks of the mesh on my face, it reminded me of a very long day in fishnet stockings; bloody cross-marks cut into skin. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #b6d7a8;">Another problem I had was that my left nostril came up against a cross-mark in the mesh blocking off my air supply on that side. I felt panic and wanted very much to reposition myself for better air inhalation - but that was not a possibility. There was absolutely no wiggle room! I wanted to kick and thrash about, but I didn't. I tried to gulp down air through my mouth when I realized that in the rush I had forgotten to take a swig of water or coat my lips with balm. The technicians had run behind protective glass as soon as I was bound in position, and through the loudspeaker I was informed that we were now waiting for the doctor to arrive! What?! I was fighting hard not to scream, I had to take a step back into calmness. I had to keep my eyes shut and visualise myself in some other place, somewhere floating in a mass of open darkness.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #b6d7a8;">I then heard voices announcing that the doctor had arrived and felt someone kneading my arm while leaning in close to say I was doing great and we would be done soon. I recognized the voice. It was the voice of the doctor who had his hands roving up and down my arm. I said to him, "If anyone is looking for the perfect form of torture; this is it!" I think I remember him letting out a half-hearted chuckle; but I can't be sure.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #b6d7a8;">The process finally began! The table revolved around in different postions pausing for blasts of loud sound. I could sort of see through the mesh, the lazer beams lining up as the table came to a stop. As far as the actual radiation went, I could feel no change, no pain, no feeling other that the tight mask holding me in place. I couldn't quite get the rhythm of mouth breathing; it caused more dryness and made me need to swallow or wet my lips, which kept me in a cycle of of unrest and pure panic. If I couldn't swallow properly, could I drown if it went down the wrong way?</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #b6d7a8;">The table had remained still for quite few minutes, and I heard a small crowd of steps surround me. It was announced we were finished and I could feel the clamps being loosened. I shot up, catching my breath and feeling like I had just been rescued from being buried alive. Thank God!!</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #b6d7a8;">I was led out of the room and back to Dan who had been patiently waiting. I was a bit disoriented from the experience, and we discussed what our next move should be. Our choices were to take a taxi home, call a friend to pick us up, or take a taxi to the garage where our car was being fixed. Yes, the day before while out doing errands, the starter on our car had broken in half! Right in the middle of grocery shopping and laundry! I know it was a bit silly to go pick the car up at that moment, but we had plans for the next day, which was Dan's birthday. We got home safely and I slept into the evening.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #b6d7a8;">The following day was lovely. Presents for Dan in the morning, breakfast, and then for lunch we went out to play a game of pool! Dan won! Then a nice evening watching "Norm"</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: #b6d7a8;">So now I'm just waiting. At the end of three weeks we will be able to see if my brain tumor has stabilized, and if so, I can then make arrangements to see a melanoma specialist at the NYU Langone Medical Center. In the meantime, I'm painting, playing music and watching The Norm Show with Dan and Glen.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: #b6d7a8;">Thank you to all that have been supporting me, you all are always in my thoughts!</span></div>
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<br />Letha Rodman Melchior Soon To Be Cancer Freehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13162208409275940807noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9079471099322298363.post-65900276845062391762012-07-17T17:43:00.000-07:002012-07-17T18:19:56.935-07:00Cancer On My MindYes, Literally! A 4mm spot has appeared in my Cerebellum! I have been trying desperately to get into a Clinical Trial for weeks and weeks- and it seems like every step of the way I've had something come up that looks like it will knock me out right off the bat. It seemed like Tampa and Philly were the only trials coming along nicely, but I went over the trial managers head at Tampa while she was on vacation and talked directly to the drug company. After reviewing my case they decided I wouldn't be a good candidate. I was holding out for a trial in Philly - but the Philly trial wanted something that was easy to biopsy. I have cancer deep in the cavity of my chest, lungs and possibly in my small intestine. I also have a small lump on my arm, so I went to the clinic to have it biopsied. It was benign, Hooray?*~##@*! But this time I wanted it to be cancer- because it was a requirement to get something biopsied to get on the trial!<br />
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Anyway, after the biopsy I was chatting with my Doctor about how I'd been feeling - tired, clumsy, overheated- (driving around without air conditioning) and I've even been dropping things as well. My typing skills have gone way down the pan. My doctor's words were 'Uh Ho!' and, he scheduled me for a Brain MRI.<br />
I thought nothing of it at the time. I ran right out to fax some papers over to NYU thinking I'll be in NY in a few weeks! My oncologist had told me he wanted me to go under the care of Dr Anna Pavlick @ NYU, as she is a melanoma specialist. So while I'm out faxing NYU some green-light papers - Dr Morse is emailing me that I have a 4mm Brain Tumor. You can see how this puts a damper on my plan!<br />
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Today I had to have head mask made for me out of plastic mesh. I had been freaking out about it all day - the hot plastic was then laid on my face and pushed around until it formed to my features. I then laid there until it hardened. I felt trapped!!!! Then a damn FLY started landing on me, dancing around on my legs and then buzzing around my vice-gripped face. GET IT OFF ME!!!!<br />
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What I had been fearing for the last few days, was indeed horrible! Thank God I had my Rooster by my side making jokes and reading me his hospital observation poetry!</div>
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This also sums up the way I felt -</div>
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That last line should be -"Are You Caught Forever By The Curse Of The MRI"<br />
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I go in to have my brain box zapped on Tuesday the 24th! YIKES!</div>
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I'll let everyone know how it goes!</div>
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On a much better note I have a NEW Tape out called, Moon Mountain by me, Letha Rodman Melchior, on the great Label Called</div>
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<a href="http://robertandleopold.com/">ROBERT & LEOPOLD</a></div>
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I am so happy to have these works out in the world - working on this collection gave me something to look forward to and to keep my mind from going into dark places. </div>
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Thank you to you Ryan Martin for making it happen.</div>
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Please get yours at <a href="http://robertandleopold.com/">Robert and Leopolds website.</a></div>
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There are so many fantastic artists on that label, and I am honored to be among them!</div>
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<br />Letha Rodman Melchior Soon To Be Cancer Freehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13162208409275940807noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9079471099322298363.post-56960023117177916402012-06-27T08:25:00.001-07:002012-06-27T08:25:51.468-07:00Full on War!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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As you know, if you've been following this blog, my breast cancer seems to be in remission - and that has been a great relief. But, the rest of my body is still deep in the trenches of war, doing it's best to hold the fort. Since my last operation on March 12th, a bit of cancer that is 1mm bigger than the last bit that was extracted has grown in it's place; and in addition there are new spots on my lungs lower lobe, and it is also likely cancer has grown in my small intestine. It just wasn't as defined as the other spots. There are also some lumps under my skin, one below my elbow and one above my left knee. They just didn't make it into the frame of the PET, so they are inconclusive lumps. I have to keep a watchful eye on them.<br />
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I have spent the last two weeks diligently calling every clinical trial I could get numbers for. I had made it my job to not take no for an answer. I would not give up looking even though I kept getting turned down or "excluded" from these trials over and over again because of my history of breast cancer. 27 of the 30 trials could not hear my boobs cries of victory over breast cancer, and turned their backs on me. I have the chance to join only three. One in Philly, one in Tampa and one in NY. I still have hoops to jump through for each one of these trials and I don't know which one will be The One that I get 100% accepted into.<br />
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I'm incredibly frightened by the thought of leaving my home and my hospital. I'm so happy with my team here and the new cancer center is something out of the future, it's just stunning. Tears welled up as I shook 'Ol' Doc Onc's' hand. I felt I wanted to hang on to his limb and climb up to the safety around his neck and look down on the uncharted waters that are about to swell up and pull me in. I don't think he'd understand that I was only trying to cling to the things I'm familiar with. I don't want to leave my care here at Duke - but he said that what Duke has to offer me at this point is a poor relation to what I can get at these other facilities. Earlier I freaked him out by asking, "What if I did nothing? How long would I last?" He just about fell out of his chair. What if you did nothing?!!!!" You can't do that!!!!" I suppose I was just trying to suss out how quickly my disease would advance if I didn't do any kind of treatment. He said a year or there abouts. I need more time than that. I don't want to leave my beautiful wonderful husband, my sweet little bird (who is naughty and bites). I don't want to leave my friends and memories. I don't want to miss out on what everyone is doing. I would miss checking into facebook! I <u>have</u> to do one of these trials.<br />
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With taking these combo trial drugs I can easily squeeze out another two years or maybe even more. I'll have side effects, such as photosensitivity (great for looking out on that beautiful Tampa Bay Sun!) The feeling of bruised feet and achey joints. If I think back, I suppose I had it worse during my other treatments.<br />
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The rest of this week I'll be trying to get all the forms, fill them out, cross my t's and dot my i's, and see what the luck of the draw is. I don't know where I'll end up.<br />
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Living with uncertainty is difficult enough - but when cancer takes away the things you know best and trades it out for something you don't know at all - it really shakes you up.<br />
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I'll keep you all posted.<br />
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Love,<br />
Letha<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Letha Rodman Melchior Soon To Be Cancer Freehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13162208409275940807noreply@blogger.com0